Youngistan

Aaranya Kaandam - Animal Kingdom

2011-06-12T22:04:00.000+05:30

Sing to the tune – ‘It’s a small world. It’s a woman’s world after all…’ Pasupathy (Sampathy) has to rescue his wife Kasthuri from Singaperumal, Kodukkaapuli has to find his lost father, Kaalaiyan and Sappa (Ravi Krishna) too plans to take away his one-day love interest Subbu from the same old man. This sum up the Aaranyam Kandam in Ramayanam – Hero-like has to save heroine-like. So who is Ram, Raavan, Sita, Laksman here? No clear answers as each character changes its trait as the movie unfolds.

The three sappais in this movie have to prove they are not a one, but unfortunately they end as losers. Singamperumal (Sappai 2) couldn’t sexually satisfy his wife and there is a scene where he sees ‘Adults only’ movie poster desperately. Jameendar (Sappai 3) is forced to move out of his hometown, accompanied by his son Kodukkaapuli. Does this episode strike a bell with Ram and Lakshman exile part? One of the brilliant scenes in the movie is Sappai after having sex with Subbu, to be frightened by the calling bell, who later finds it to be water-can. And there Subbu says ‘Nee epdi polachanne ennala namba mudiyala da’ Cut to back and Jameendar is covered by blood, who opens his eyes to realise he is still alive (Epdi polachanne namba mudiyala da) and cut to forth, Puli says to his dad ‘Nee wasteu pa’ (Sappa). Exceptional correlation, I must admit.

Subbu toys with Sappai, gains his trust and trap him to her plan. Here, this scene the camera moves like a spider spinning circular trails around the radials to shut in its prey. You do not need more than this to speak about cinematography section -Enough is as good as a feast. Most of the male character names cover an animal’s name – Singamperumal (smiles like a lion) Gajendra (bear a resemblance to a wild elephant), Puli, Kaalaiyan etc. whereas the heroine hold an animal inside her, so she doesn’t need a name explicitly.

If the dark humor dialogs like ‘un pondaatiye kaapatha mudiyala, nee ellam epdi da en appava kaapathuva?’ , ‘yosanakabal’ , ‘prapoo, kuspoo’ are the biggest plus for this movie, some gravity defying stunts, Pasupathy single-handedly slaying five to 10 men with a palm-sized knife in slow-mo’s makes you smile, but for other reasons. BGM is good at places, noteworthy mentioning are the scenes where Puli baths his father, Sappa-Subbu scenes but why a romantic one for fight scenes?

As the saying, too many cooks spoil the stew, movie gives you load of moments to ravish, unfortunately the more you speak, and the more are the spoilers. My kind advice is stop reading reviews, because the twists and turns are to be enjoyed in visuals, not in words. This is truly a commercial cinema written over every frame.

Aaranya Kandam – SAPPAI(s) padam

Mr. Critic 5-Star: 4

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Nadunisi Naaygal - Gautham gets his Ted Bundy wrong this time

2011-02-20T20:28:00.003+05:30

Nadunisi Naaygal proves Gautham movies are like assorted sweets you get from a B Grade sweet shop. Looks attractive, trying to conjure too many things into one packet, the end product is unhygienic and lacks taste.

Nadunisi Naaygal proves Gautham movies are like Sarvana Bhavan meals. Less content/quantity and more pricey, at the end you have an unsatisfactory feeling.

Nadunisi Naaygal proves Gautham movies are like Dairy Milk Temptations. Candy floss at first sight but candy-flaws on dissection.

By now, audiences are aware of pluses and minuses of this movie - Sameera, Veera, Cinematography, Sound etc.

Enough said, what could have worked for this movie?

Gautham, its time you rethink your screen writing. Your movies have interesting scenes and moments, but your movie as a whole seems like you have 10-12 scenes running in your mind, and trying to put it together without a proper screenplay. Its like a designer who have attractive beads of different colors, crafting them onto a thread, lacking a proper idea of designing

You have a Psycho and trying to tell the story from his POV. But his story is neither gripping nor hard hitting. Your Vettaiyaadu Vilaiyaadu worked because the story moves in the investigator's eye and the audience were able to connect to it. Who want to fill into a psycho's shoes? Not all are sexually abused or raping/murdering girls :P So you got yourself out in hit-wicket fashion. It failed to hold our interest.

Why in the world all psychos have a flashback in childhood stage. Cant the writers shift this to their adolescent stage? An Orgy/Pedophile father does sound new, but again the episodes have amateurish writing so you don't feel pity for the protagonist and the further unfoldings when you unravel from a molested kid's mind.

And the biggest drawback, Veera lacks the charm of a psychopath. You loved Ted Bundy, You admired Hannibal Lecter, but there is something missing in Veera. I can attribute this to poor characterization too..

Just because something is bold, daring, new attempt, out of box thinking, stylish there is no rule that it has to be appreciated. All the best Gautham for your next venture :)

Nadunisi Naaygal- Nightmare

Mr. Critic 5-Star: *.5

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Pune Potter and Two Kidney Stones - 1

2010-12-29T21:44:00.001+05:30

Mid pleasures and palaces though we may roam,

Be it ever so humble, there's no place like home;

This is the lyrics from the famous ‘Home! Sweet Home’ song. Whenever your parents restrict you with their rules, you feel like leaving from home and sometime say ‘I will go somewhere instead of your tortures’ But whatever we say, away from home is like living hell after few days. (Honeymoon is an exception: P). My parents are no exception from this. “You want us to spoon fed you uh? When will you learn responsibilities? Are you still a kid? Playing in computer? See others. One girl has achieved blahs and blahs in science. Her age is indeed lesser than you. But you, eating, sleeping, playing etc etc” and the sermon goes on till they get tired: D The one film that showed how my life was outside home- Wake Up Sid. I even reviewed it in my blog, it is the one that depicts transformation of a boy to a man (But I am already physically, If you know what I mean :D) and I did learn a little of life and responsibility during this phase.

The company I was placed called me to Pune for training. When all my classmates were put up in Chennai, Bangalore, I was tad unlucky to be put up there. My Dad enquired all details about Pune (He was ignorant where Pune is :P :D) and I found Mr G through my Company’s social networking community (Technology advancement :D), he even hunted the rooms. I obediently joined him and after a day’s journey in train, my family successfully met his and we booked our living room the same day. It’s a big house that had a common kitchen/bathroom/restroom/hall and five big bedrooms. The house owner must be genius and he rented the bedrooms. The guy was reluctant to allow two of us in same room (Two in a room is lose for him na) but thanks to Mr G’s hindi gyan, he agreed to, duly inflating the rent to 500 bucks (Bleddy buggar)

Language is not at all a problem because even if you speak in Hindi, they reply in Marathi only. The thing is not I don’t know both. I know Hindi and Marathi but the problem is people there don’t understand the Hindi and Marathi I speak :D Thanks to a Hindi song, Ek Dho Teen, I knew numbers in Hindi (but that too till Tara) So whenever I go for shopping or lunch/dinner, I manage as “Bhaiyya Dho roti, Bhaiyya Ek Dooth” But the problem I faced is sometimes there won’t be price written in few items and the overall bill in few hotels is recited. So I have to ask ‘Kya, Kya, Kya’ and pitying me he will tell in English. The hotel boy and the shopkeeper (I call his shop as bhaiyya shop) got used to me that whenever I visit them; they will laugh at me and say ‘Two Roti, One Milk’ when I say ‘Dho roti, Bhaiyya Ek Dooth’ (Mission succeeded to make people learn English for me) The other words I learnt are Mujhe Hindi Nehi Maalum, garam, Thandaa, bindass, thoda thoda maalum, Kuch Kuch Hotha (spell carefully because in Tamizh this word denotes a beautiful meaning :D) Hai and few more hindi movies. I even used Engli (English + Hindi) in few places especially saloon like this – ‘Side ke short karo, front ke thoda kam karo’

For the first time I learnt how to prepare Coffee, Tea, Dosai (ready-made mix was available) Here are dosa photos :P If you think bachelor rooms are disorganized and messy, then you could be proved wrong by visiting our room. The geeks of Pril, Scotch Brite and Lizol felt blessed once I started using them :P and I was loving it too. But the biggest headache was washing clothes. Thanks to my sister, she helped me in the quantity of detergent I should put, how long I should let the clothes soak, how to brush, how many changes of water needed, how to rinse and how to drain and dry. I used to call her after every step during the first time :D My roommate by the meantime was ready for his lunch (I started washing after our breakfast at 10 and the clock struck 1 once I am done with :D ) From the next attempt, the time gradually reduced and my clothes got brighter and brighter. I even learnt how to Iron clothes (thanks to G this time) Soon we found out a dry cleaner and whenever we feel lazy to wash or light colored clothes piled up, we knocked theirs.

How Pune without thought for food and thought for girls? I will share them in the next post :)

PS: For those wondering what is the relation between title and content, I am sorry for disappointing you :P May be you need to catch up the next one to find it. :D

Middle Class Mumblings : Vrrrooooom

2010-12-04T22:14:00.000+05:30

ME: Dad… Check this ad.

DAD: What’s it about?

ME: New Bike... Suzuki Slingshot! It gives mileage about 70Km and check the price, its 46000 only.

DAD: But I already have a one right? Bajaj Platina and its good.

ME: Dad… Bike is for me.

DAD: Bike? For you? But why?

ME: I am finding it difficult to travel in bus.

DAD: Get a 600 rupee pass monthly. You can get in and out of any bus at any time.

ME: But all the buses are overcrowded. The drivers aren’t stopping too… Even if they do, I can find only my right foot in and my entire mass hangs like a bob in a pendulum.

DAD: You footboard in bus uh? That’s bad.

ME: Yes Dad.

DAD: I can understand. Why can’t you start earlier to your office then? Your office timing is 10-6.30, the reason why buses are crowded. So you start earlier and depart earlier. That would solve the problem.

ME: I wish you start your own IT Company. Your proposed idea is as good as suggested by Top-Level management Dad.

Few weeks later,

DAD: Hey check this.

ME: What?

DAD: Mahindra has launched new bike- Stallio. It looks great na?

ME: As if you are goanna get for me.

DAD: Now you started earning, I think you can get a bike.

ME: Wow. Dad… That’s awesome

DAD: But the model is left to my choice.

ME: Stallio?

DAD: No… Honda...

ME: Unicorn… I can’t wait to get my hands on it.

DAD: Let me complete… Honda Activa

ME: Activa?

DAD: Yes... Active guys like you should drive Activa...

(mind-voice) I am bowled by your logic. You should have named me Stalin if I have to get Stallio.

ME: But why? See, Activa and Stallio cost the same.

DAD: Activa is gear-less and good for Chennai traffic

ME: But guys don’t drive it Dad.

DAD: Few of my colleagues sold their Splendor and got Activa and they don't regret for it

(mind-voice) I never knew your colleagues are in twenties.

ME: Activa don’t give you a bike feel dad. It’s similar to driving scooty pep, pleasure- more of girls’ kinda.

DAD: It will be difficult to shift gears in the bikes you have said. Two days back I witnessed a guy in Pulsar skidding badly and last week near Mount Road a guy in Hunk hit the back of another bike and they had a big scuffle.

(mind-voice) No Diva with Activa. How can I make him to understand?

ME: So what?

DAD: I don’t want you to be one among them.

ME: Dad, I will drive safely. I make sure I don’t over speed

DAD: But Activa is good for you. I will see how you drive in Activa, based on which I will think of getting you Unicorn or any other model you wish.

ME: You have so much of money?

DAD: No, I am planning to get a second-hand Activa for you. It will be less than 20K and

ME: After testing my driving skills, you will get a second-hand Unicorn, right?

DAD: Yes

ME: Amazing plan dad. For the cost of one bike, you are getting me two bikes. Let my PM take a cue from you for cost reduction and cost control techniques.

DAD: For my satisfaction, I get you Activa and for your satisfaction, I might get a Unicorn, note ‘might’ and not ‘will’

ME: So this is your final answer Dad?

DAD: Yes. So when can we go to get Activa?

ME: I don’t need bike dad

DAD: That’s a good decision, late realization though. And hey, don’t forget to renew your bus pass.

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Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 - The Hunt Begins

2010-11-27T14:12:00.002+05:30

The movie starts off with Rufus Scrimgeour, Minister of Magic declaring, “These are dark times, there's no denying” It seemingly fit into the mood of the film. The film is darker visually, figuratively and emotionally. The film is slow paced in the middle but the underlying fact is Yates, for the first time has constructed the characters. Well, I forgot to give my warning- If you haven’t read the book, expecting a visual extravaganza filled with unparalleled CG’s and looking for any flashback/references to the previous movies so that you can catch up the plot- Please skip this movie.

HP: Heavily Packed- Emotions

The film moves away from what kids are expecting. The three lead characters are in adolescent stage and Yates treats the viewers with admirable depiction of the protagonists growing up. Few may complain the film isn’t about discovering the Horcruxes, the unfinished and daunting task set to the trio by Professor Dumbledore, if they need to kill Voldemort and they find themselves lost with no clues how to progress, none to guide them. One can draw line from this to the emotional imbalance of the trio- they find themselves gloomy, lost that leads to enmity and how they rediscover back their friendship. Ron grows suspicious of Hermoine’s affection for Harry and finds himself distanced from them. On the other side with no Dumbledore to guide him at his mission, Harry is aggravated as all stones are left unturned. Hermoine, who is always good for the two is torn between them, to take up whose sides and struggles to come up with Ron’s absence. The days pass by with long silences. There is a beautifully shot scene, when Harry calls Hermoine and starts dancing together that give a picture of mental struggle Hermoine is going through without Ron and Harry’s search for levity in a desolate world. This is the movie where Daniel, Rupert and Emma get the chance to act and Yates clearly pushes the visual effects to backseat. The viewers can experience the jealousy (Ron), frustration (Harry) and despair (Hermoine) of the characters. If not properly construed, the impatient viewers may find the middle of the film stretches tiresomely.

HP: Hilariously Plain- Humor

This is the first movie to come out of Hogwarts and so the humor is dry in the absence of Quidditch, Professors and Draco’s group. If you are put in a congested room, a whiff of fresh air provides you a needed relief. I guess this might be the reason Ron’s one-liners clicked in an otherwise ominous movie. One of the decoys wearing a brassiere, A lady kissing Ron who transformed as her husband, Ron’s expression at Xenophilius Lovegood’s house for the Deathly Hallows tale evoke few chuckles and how can one forget Weasley’s Saint-like holy liner ?

HP: Hastily Placed- Characters

It’s nice to see the favorite supporting characters back on screen, but few give a rushed feeling. It’s accepted given the time constraint and limitations for a movie but I couldn’t avoid feeling sorry for missing Kreacher’s tale on RAB, Longbottom giving an ‘I am too there, count me in’ appearance. The ever cruel Bellatrix and lovable Dobby deliver a prominent performance. The final scene of Dobby is moving and tugs your heart string. There is not much scope for Severus Snape and Voldemort (terrifying in his restricted screen time at the introduction) so I anticipate they have an important role in the second part as the novel offers so. The editing is crisp though few scenes start/end abruptly like the follow-up scenes after escaping from Bill-Fleur wedding and the ending looked like suddenly interrupted (I was wondering whether the projector isn’t working). They could have made it look better.

HP: Heap Praise- Technical/Visual aspects

The detractors can say with the advancement in technology, CG’s get better and better for every film. There is no denying of the fact that the movie is technically and visually superior but it just blends with the screenplay. They don’t feel like shoved into the pace for sake being and its beautiful to look at. 8 different Harrys in a perfect 360* shot is astounding and the animated sequence of ‘The tale of Three Brothers’ is jaw-dropping and mesmerizing to watch. Even the action scenes are choreographed intensely, in particular, the trio infiltrating the Ministry of Magic and escaping subsequently. Not to forget, credits to the cameraman for canning exquisite landscapes, forests and course a lot darker.

HP: Handed Perfect- Closing Thoughts

The movie cannot be claimed as one of the best of all time, but it is the best series so far until the release of next part. The movie has its cons but the reviewer’s prejudice is compromised a little for being a Potter fanatic. It’s daring to move away from cheesy clichés and trying to give the movie a mature look. This could be the best adaptation of novel which was missing in the last three movies.

Well, well, well, look what we have here. It's Harry Potter. He's all bright, and shiny, and new again

Mr. Critic 5-Star: ***.5

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PS: I know a little late for a review but made sure to write on second viewing.

50 First Dates: Henry and his Chemistry

2010-11-09T12:51:00.001+05:30

The hardest task for any young man is to win a woman's heart. Women love surprises and they expect men to love her bigger than the previous day. (That's why they call Love, a virus that multiplies rapidly) So the biggest challenge for any guy is to get his dream girl fall in love with him new every day. And that’s what the protagonist takes up in this movie, 50 First Dates. The ladylove is not an ordinary girl; she has a short-term memory loss. Her brain remembers the day she had an accident, by means, she can’t retain new memories. So our hero has to meet and woo her day after day; if he hit her today, she will forget him tomorrow. He teams up with heroine's dad and doffs brother, who sacrifices everything to keep her unaware of condition and be cheerful. Did he succeed in making her fall for him and did she remember who he is forms the rest of the story.

Adam Sandler slips comfortably in philandering Playboy Veterinarian role, Henry and provides a subtle performance. Drew Barrymore, as an amnesiac Lucy is charming and drives away all the sullenness with her smile. From the very first scene where Henry sees Lucy in a restaurant, till the end where Lucy looks into Sandler's eyes in his yacht, they share a terrific on-screen chemistry that lights the entire movie. The romance and sentiments between them are genuine offering plenty of feel-good moments. The film doesn't end in a tragic note and though Lucy never remembers him, Henry ignores her imperfections and in his eyes, she is perfect. The film doesn’t switch gears to melodrama towards climax and Lucy getting cured all of a sudden, it would have sucked big-time. Watch the movie to know Lucy's state at the end. I describe it in adjectives- Simple and poetic.

The film is not a perfect either. It has its flaws like the first 15 minutes filled with crude humor. Hero’s friend, assistant and Lucy's brother characterizations are ridiculous. But if you think the director is going to build on the starting absurd premise, that’s where we go wrong. The sudden transition of Sandler's character from a one night stand womanizer to a devoted boyfriend is far from convincing. Even his friend jokes, "She is your kind of girl. You can hit her at night, the next morning she forgets you." But the following scenes where Henry works out his strategy though he can have sex with any woman he wanted and I mention once again, Henry-Lucy chemistry are more than enough to forgive any lack of logic.

It is neither a classic, nor an Oscar material. But it is cute, fun-filled and pleasant.

50 First Dates- Satisfying Date

Mr. Critic 5-Star: ***

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Federer's William Tell trick

2010-10-27T14:41:00.003+05:30

Roger Federer has nothing left to prove and hardly anything to lose. Inevitable questions about his poor form, aura of invincibility and chink in the armor arise when he loses but he answers them in emphatic fashion. Despite pocketing the Australian Open, by his standards this year is a flop as he stumbled at Quarter Finals in clay and his favorite grass but he remained calm and unfazed. A semi-final loss in US Open further speculated the theory of End of Fed-Era but Federer hit back with Shanghai Masters final and a win at Stockholm. I was amazed by this video- "William Tell" trick and my devotion, admiration grew stronger for him. Check it; Federer delivers two powerful pin-point serves that knock a can off the head of a man at distance.

Federer's answer was "You know how it is with magicians; they don't tell how their tricks work." You are indeed a magician Fed. Love you!

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Men's Diary

2010-10-05T12:45:00.000+05:30

December

I was in the lift, looking deep into her eyes. I moved forward and she caught me by my chest

"Do you love me?" she asked

"Yes, I love you"

We kissed

January

She was hugging me like her bedroom teddy bear. I kept on reminding, its time and I have to leave but she didn’t release her hold. "Some more time K" I loved it. Then she started lecturing, "Eat properly, and please call me daily. Speak to me for five minutes. Stop flirting with new girls in my absence. If I come to know any such, I will catch the next train and kick your butt, Love you so much" and she kissed me for the one last time.

February

She was excited on hearing my voice after a week. I let her know my safety and health condition, and made it more special by revealing she was the first to whom I had given my number.

March

I couldn’t attend her calls, workload strangling me and she keeps on fighting every time I call her. "Dad is around, don’t call", "I am not feeling well, will get back to you later" WTF wrong with her? When I need to talk to her badly, she always gives a negative reply. Let she get a taste of her own medicine. I didn’t attend when she called me while I was at office

LOL. Great day it was. She scolded me badly for talking about my X. I love it when she scolds me "Porikki" and I can take that drama every time for it. I never knew she is so dumb because if I need to start a fight, I will touch this topic, she fights, next day we cajole back to normal self. Still she never realizes it. I love the way she love but I hate the way she expects me to love her back.

I screwed it. Her phone is switched off for the past three days. I'm really sacred. Is she alright? I sent her a mail, expecting a reply.

April

She replied today, her exams on the way and so her mom took off the mobile.

It’s been a week since she got her mobile back but she didn’t update me. I called and yelled at her but she has her answers. Got a temporary job immediately after her exams and she is not idle like before. I clapped and cut the call

Attitude! Attitude! Attitude! That’s girls are about. If we had a fight, she gets back to me in an hour or so. But it’s been five days since we last talked that ended in an ugly fight. Mistake is hers but she is not ready to call.

May

I buried my hatchet and called her. The same response- I'm busy. I've work. I can’t message like before. I can’t call like before. Bitch! Sorry for it! :(

God, its killing me. She is not like before. The fucking truth is she is not ready to speak her heart out. 45 calls for the last four days and 78 SMS'es. No response. Why can’t she switch off the mobile? What pleasure she has in ignoring me?

June

Hell of two months. Her birthday is around; I should make up for all my mistakes. Tickets booked. Her first birthday with me, and I want it to be memorable

And as expected, she threw her tantrums. Out of station on her birthday and she can’t make up the meeting. I cut the call not ready to hear her uninterested chants

I lost my sleep, again. That’s what I am going through for the past three months. Woke till 12 to wish her first on the birthday but she didn’t pick. At last after calling from my friend's mobile at the nth attempt in noon, she barely raised her voice. "Thanks, my family is around. Thanks again!" Why was she born, Pain in the ass?

July

I am sick and hospitalized. She said she will come and meet me. I didn’t expect it because I know she won’t. Off late, she never keeps her promises. I said don’t make fucking promises but she is happy in hurting me.

I am getting discharged tomorrow. She didn’t even bother to call me once to enquire my status. Does she love me truly? The kisses we shared, the places we roamed clutching her arms like my wife, the images are sinking out of my vision. I'm blind :(

We met today; she cried that I'm hurting her. Oh Oh Oh! Come on, didn’t she know the last three months were grueling? But she keeps on hitting the same bush, "You talk about all the girls and I hate it, I love you crazy and possessive on you. Son of a bitch, don’t you understand it?" Why don’t the girls get the point that a guy toy only with his loved one? I love it, I love the way you love me, madly. May be I do sound a psyche. She talked a lot, I had no words because I am sick of explaining the same “I did it because I loved it" again and again. Aren’t girls tired of speaking the same topic again and again? Love is blind, but for her Love is deaf because she didn’t understand the explanation.

She promised me that all will be fine from now on. Aal izz Well

August

I have heard of Vikramadityan and Beatle stories but now I am seeing it in my life. It goes like, whatever the king says the Beatle goes back to the tree and hangs in it. She still beats the same bush “You hate me” as if I said to her. And at last she said it, “Loving you was my biggest mistake in life” Bitch! I feel like killing her. Was it the same fucking mouth that said “You are my biggest gift in life”, “I love you like anything”, “You are my happiness”. I vowed to her. She’ll regret for saying this and she will definitely miss me. I’m not goanna get another girl though loneliness makes the loudest noise. This is true of men as of dogs. I’m not going to call her back, text her back until she realizes her mistake.

I miss her badly, but if she has the damn ego not to come down and apologize, I am not a dog to get back to her forgetting what she said. But, it happened. Life is always full of twists and turns. She called me today and expressed regret for her action on that day. I don’t want to create a scene for it because I fear losing her again. My heart is not ready for another pain. I promised her that I won’t talk about other girls and annoy. Finally, she-is-mine.

September

How could she do it? It’s my birthday and she didn’t wish today. I can’t control my feelings, mixed with frustration, tears and anger. When I informed, she was like “Is it? Wait, Let me check the calendar. Oh Sorry! Really Sorry!” The tone was casual and plain. She didn’t feel for it. I cut the call, don’t want to extend the conversation. Men don’t cry and if they do, not want women to listen to it. I chose the latter. What if she mocks my tears and call I’m whining?

I called again after a week. She didn’t call or text me in the mean-time. Half the conversation, she was speaking with her friends around. I was under impression am I a caller or listener? It irritates me. Does she need me when feel left alone? Does she really love me? I asked her directly. She still wants her revenge. She still wants me to miss her like she missed me when I irate and ignore her. Even if I do, I will get back in a day or two but she is repeating it for the past four months. Women don’t forget things easily. Women don’t understand things easily too. Even my phone operator would have shouted “He did it because he loved it” because it’s the sentence I keep on telling more than once every day I talk with her.

October

She requested not to call her back. All she need is peace and time to recover. I give it to her. May be she is ignoring with an idea, I would gradually hate her for this and leave her. She is not ready to tell it openly that things won’t work between us. Whenever I see a baby, I am reminded to the funny names we kept for our kids. I brushed aside a tear. I try to talk to you, but I don't know what to say. I am afraid you don't want me to say anything. So I don't. But inside of me there are words waiting to come out and tell you how I feel-like how I miss you. And how I love you despite my broken heart. And how I need you in my life. And especially how much I want you. But those words may forever stay in my heart-locked inside. Sometimes I wonder if there are words locked inside you too... but I'll never know.

Moral: Sometimes women start to love without a reason, without a reason they start hating. Be it love or hatred, a man cant show 1% of what woman shows. If she loves, she loves it till she dies and if she hates, she hates it till she comes out of it.

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Q&A with Little Legolus Arun

2010-09-18T11:43:00.002+05:30

Little Arun was messing his home and grades took a nosedive. Unable to tolerate this, his mother put him in tuition only to find the girls in the tuition are no longer safer. So he was put up in the boys-only tuition center. Arv and Swathi, his teachers had trouble in controlling him. Here are some of the incidents that took place between them.

Swathi: Who is Akbhar?

Arun: I dunno

Swathi: Dumbo! Concentrate on your studies, you will know

Arun: Who is Priyanka?

Swathi: What? Come again!

Arun: Pri-yan-ka

Swathi:Hmmm.. Actress?

Arun: No

Swathi: Erg.. Nope, I dunno

Arun: Dumbo! Concentrate on your boy-friend, you will know

**************

Swathi: I was driving my car at 70 feet/second and the speed limit is 50kmph. Am I speeding?

Arun: You can’t find it.

Swathi: Why?

Arun: Just now I broke the speedometer of your scooty. So how can you?

**************

Arv: When was Indian constitution written?

Arun: When the writer was asked to write an answer to a question that he don’t know.

**************

Swathi: Why people don’t use nitrate?

Arun: It is costlier and they weren’t provided rate-cutter. So people prefer dayrate

**************

Swathi: NaCl is an example of which bond?

Arun: James Bond

**************

Arv: if 8 men take 5 days to build a wall, how many days it would take for 5 men?

Arun: No days. The wall has been built already, right?

**************

Swathi: Is it possible to call Washington without ISD code?

Arun: Not possible

Swathi: Uff! You got one right

Arun:Washington is dead ma’m. So how can you?

**************

Arv: Complete the sentences- Love all, trust

Arun: Me

Arv: A penny saved is

Arun: no girl friend

Arv: Where there is smoke, there is

Arun: Cigar

Arv: Don’t bite the hand that

Arun: looks dirty

**************

Swathi: What is?

Arun: Ma’m. Lemme ask you questions this time.

Swathi: Shoot

Arun: I have it big in my pants and you don’t have it.

Swathi: Spoiled brat

Arun:God bless your perverted mind. The answer is pocket. Next one?

Swathi: Go ahead.

Arun: People start off with putting one finger into it and gradually they put other fingers too.

Swathi: Oh God! You are…

Arun: Stop giving that awkward look. The answer is ring.

Swathi: Do you have any more?

Arun: Yes. Blow me, Blow me I’m bigger. As time passes, my size is a changer.

Swathi was gasping her breath.

Arun: No answer again? It’s balloon. Next one, I start with F and end with K, I come when it is burning inside.

Swathi: Oh Kid, who taught you this? It’s... No, I shouldn’t swear.

Arun: You missed it again. Answer is Fire truck. And the final one, I have no bones. I am full of muscles. I look small and pump up the body. You need me for making love.

Swathi: Pen..

Arun: No Pen or pencil. The answer is Heart. Ma’m... Are you alright?

Swathi: Thank God you stopped me before I could complete the answer.

And she fainted.

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William Words-Forth

2010-09-13T18:03:00.000+05:30

Thanks to those who hated me; you made me stronger.
Thanks to those who loved me; you made my heart fonder.
Thanks to those who worried; they let me know that they actually adore
Thanks to those who cared; you never made me feel bore.
Thanks to those who left me; they made me realise nothing lasts forever.
Thanks to those who envied me; you made my self-esteem grow stronger.
Thanks to those who entered my life; you made me who I am today.
Thanks to those being in my life; you are like the hope of sunray
Thanks to Google and Blogger; you wasted memory in publishing this post
Thanks to everyone who read this; you were given my birthday toast

Belated Birthday wishes to me :)

PS: My 75th Post too. I ran out of ideas and so lazy to start on something. So wrote this poem dedicated for my Birthday. My Birthday resolution? I shouldn't write poems again :D

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Wake Up Sid- Adorable Kid

2010-08-02T11:26:00.014+05:30

The major success of a movie is one can relate to it a way or the other and I was instantaneously connected to Wake Up Sid at first watch. The life style of Gen Y, trying to learn life once you are out of your home, falling in love with an elderly woman ( I have a knack of it- Most of my crushes are Ek Bada Aged Love Story), night life of Mumbai ( I had been there once) are portrayed brilliantly in the movie.

The story offers nothing new but the treatment is refreshing. A spoiled rich-lad who is aimless even after his college thanks to his 'I-have-my Rich-Dad-to-spend-everything' attitude. His parent want him to do something constructive but the kid take life as it comes. Enter Aisha in Bombay to start a new life, who is ditto opposite of his; ambitious, want to be independent, matured. As the saying 'Opposite attract', Sid is drawn towards Aisha and soon they become good friends. After flunking his exams and abandoning his friends, Sid is asked either to obey or get-out by his frustrated Dad. Sid chooses the latter and goes to Aisha's house who welcomes him with warmth. Did his stay at Aisha's house teach Sid what his life? Did he fall for her? forms the rest of the film and I don’t want to reveal further as it will kill the joy.

Thumbs Up Sid:

Casting: Ranbir Kapoor and Konkana Sen are pitch perfect. Ranbir slips into the role casually with no over-acting. Konkana is the real show-stealer thanks to her natural acting and no-nonsense attitude. She is gorgeous in the movie and I can’t stop drooling at her. (Have to visit Bengal for the girls :P) Kudos to her Costume Designer. Anupham Kher and Supriya as dotting parents are good.

Cinematography: I felt I was in Bombay while watching this movie (I'm in Pune not too far off, may be one of the reason :P) The scenes- Sid-Aisha's first meeting captures the mesmeric night-life of Bombay and the climax where Sid-Aisha meet in rainy Bombay is again, a poem.

Music: Background Music is so soothing and gels into the movie's flow. the song, Iktara is the most memorable part of the movie. So romantic and I would love to listen to on a rainy day, in the balcony (Incidentally when I was watching this film it was raining here :D)

Moments: The film had its moments. Few scenes were so touching like the neighbor asking Sid to take her photos along with her boy and Sid realized about his mom. The other one is Supriya trying to learn English so that she can bond with Sid like his friends was heart-warming. Special mention to the scene where Ranbir meets his dad with the offer letter, turning matured at that moment.

Thumbs Down Sid:

Second Half: if the first half is poignant, Director falters in second half with too many predictable scenes. Parents don’t even care to know the whereabouts of their only son was irking.

Climax: Again a cheesy, predictable climax with more of a melodrama like KJ's movies. (KJ- Karan Johar for those who don’t know)

Closing Thoughts:

At kinder-garden, when someone asks how your daddy will be, the straight down answer will be comparing him with Super-Man or Super-Heroes. Once, we step into teens, super hero metamorphoses to ATM (Any-Time-Money), egoistic dictator. But we all realize the good in it as time passes by. There is a Sid inside all of us.

Wake Up Sid- Transformation from a boy to a man

Mr. Critic 5-Star: ***.5

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A Beautiful Mind

2010-07-21T11:15:00.001+05:30

Scene 1: A woman insults her makeup artist which is witnessed by his daughter. Fuming, she blasts her dad to put make up for her so that she can become a star. He gives XYZ cream, applying on she turns white and becomes famous.

Scene 2: Group of girls is practicing for a dance show and the dull looking girl is pushed back. Then comes the savior, ABC Cream and she come to front row and impress the audience.

I've always ostracized products targeting men or women that promote discrimination on the basis of skin color. In recent, these new ads have hit a disgusting new low. Women ads mostly shows that they are succeeding after getting fair and men ads shows that women started liking them only after they are fair. These are demeaning to women.

The fact that India has always been obsessed with fair skin is well known. Skin tone is considered as a foremost trait among many young Indians looking for romance. Have a look at the matrimonial sites, crazy guys want fair and white skinned girls and no doubt girls are falling head over heels to look 'fair and lovely'. After 90's, most of the fairness cream makers identified India as their potential market to make hell lot of profit because of our population and the desire to become fair. This is ably supported by Indians crowning Worlds and Universes. The fact that these ads assume that the customers are dumber really gets to me. They spread all the negative stereotypes associated with dark skinned people. You need to be fair and white if you want to be successful. Even the Europeans and Americans take sunbath to prevent skin diseases and increase the melanin content, but we who have it in us naturally want to become white and fair. But what we fail to get is these creams are sun-protection lotions with mild bleaching agents to remove tan.

While few creams constrained their propaganda of lighter shade of skin in a matter of few weeks through advertisements in televisions and newspapers, a new fairness cream has stretched its boundaries to enter into Facebook application. Vaseline for men allows users to change their profile pictures, a few shades lighter that will be reflected in their looks after using the cream. The page already has 760 plus fans- A sad reflection on society's obsession with physical beauty. So being black or brown is a curse? I never cared about my color and I didn’t get what relates beauty and color? Can you turn a crow into a white pigeon? Then how can you transform a black-skinned woman into white within seven days?

Though the ads promote complexion prejudices, it reflects what society wants. It’s my personal opinion whether I care about the skin color but there are people who want fair skin. There are people who think that having fairer skin makes you more attractive. The ad simply portrays that. When our mind will come out of the notion that fair skin is beautiful and dark skin is ugly? Hard work and Success makes us beautiful. Beauty is inside you, not in the products.

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Inception- Exception-al

2010-07-18T17:02:00.001+05:30

In one of the scenes, Cobb says, "What's the most resilient parasite? An Idea. A single idea from the human mind can build cities. An idea can transform the world and rewrite all the rules. Which is why I have to steal it." And he is right. Nolan's idea has built a world and has rewritten the storytelling. I'm captivated by his world. I have to steal his brain. If Avatar has pushed the boundaries of technical brilliance, Inception is the benchmark for screenwriting. But this one stands out from Avatar, for the technology and screenplay have rarely blended together and that serves as a testimony for Nolan's mastermind. If you feel like I'm a fanatic, gushing, sorry I can't help it.

**SPOILERS AHEAD**

Cobb (Caprio) is paid to get into the dreams of business tycoons, extract and steal their ideas. But his deceased wife, Mal's memory keep haunting him every time he enters into one's dream. Cobb still feel that he is responsible for his wife's death (forcibly exited out of US for this) and Saito (Ken Watanabe), a business magnet whom Cobb encountered previously, offers him a deal- instead of stealing the ideas, plant an one. If Cobb succeeds, Saito with his influence will help Cobb return back to United States and reunite with his kids. So Cobb chooses an architect, Ariadne (Ellen Page), a forger, Eames (Tom Hardy) along his friend Arthur (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) set off on their mission, to plant the idea into Robert Fischer Jr.(Cillian Murphy) mind, Saito's rival. Did they succeed? But to describe every plot and layers of storytelling in detail would take away the magic of this film.

The film's heart lies in the second half and you have to constantly pay attention to remember all the sub-plots and layers happening inside the dream. The film is about layers and that’s what makes it great. It is a film that requires multiple viewing to truly understand the ambiguous subjects.

The casting is perfect. Caprio scores in the emotional scenes with his wife and Ellen ably supports him. Cinematography, Art Direction, Special Effects, Back Ground Music can be compiled to a single word- Extra-ordinary. You feel you are into the world and travel along with Cobb and his co. Editing- the way the scenes are cut, layers are executed exemplarily in a non-linear narration, keeps us glued.

Wine gets better with time and Nolan is getting better and better in every film. If Academy awards snub Nolan from Best Director, Best Original Screenplay next year, they deserve a middle finger.

Inception: Enter into Nolan's dream that has No EXIT doors. You are imprisoned forever.

PS: I will come up with a compilation of doubts my friends asked after watching this film.

Mr. Critic 5-Star: *****

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Feder-era: Fading into Darkness

2010-07-14T08:46:00.000+05:30

A very sad months passed for me as a tennis fan, seeing Federer defeated at the quarters, for the second consecutive Grandslam tournament. For the first time since 2004 French Open, Federer's name was missing in Semi-Finals list. For a player to make 18 out of 19 slam finals and then scrape his way to 2 consecutive QF's, the warning lights must be flashing. If Rolland Garros is an alarm, given he is ordinary in clay, losing in his comfortable turf, Wimbledon is the first nail in coffin.

Roger was too passive on court, this Wimbledon. This talk of the end of Feder-era could be disspelled quickly if he wins at Flushing Meadows but i suspect the comeback wont be as great as in 2009. Even my confidence in him winning back the US Open is dripping. I, like everyone would love to be proven wrong.

PS: Not a big post this time, left short of words like my God.

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My Sassy Girl- Cant take my eyes off you

2010-04-15T15:53:00.003+05:30

Love- There is both joy and pain in it, because that's exactly how the life is. There are so many different ways of expressing your love without saying 'I love you’. What if a film carries this with no pointless nail on sex, kiss and yet it turns out to be one of the most 'romantic' cinematic experience? My Sassy Girl (in Korean Yeopgijeogin Geunyeo) is the perfect mix of comedy, drama, romance and some of the best storytelling I've ever seen. This movie is so beautiful; has the most well defined characters you'll ever see on films that are true to how they really are. The situations are so interesting and absorbing that you tend to forget that you are being influenced by all the over-romanticizing.

I saw this movie with absolutely zero expectations; was almost asleep and watched it at a friend's place to pass the time. The uncut version of the film lasts 137 minutes (2 hours and 17 minutes), quite long for a romantic comedy. But it was so craftily written that one would not notice time ticking by. At no point in the movie does annoy, and that's a hard task indeed. There are little hints (Which at first may seem meaningless) thrown in the story which will come back to play a major part in the film later on. You can come back to it again and again and you'll always notice something new and this made me to watch it again and again.

The story begins when Kyun Woo, an immature but eccentric 25 year-old college student who doesn't have a clear direction in life meets the bizarre, drunken girl on a train platform late at night. Hilarity guarantees in the following scenes, how she becomes his girl friend, who has the faces of caring, psychopath and weird, seizing chances to slap him and humiliate him. The film has three parts- first half, second half and Overtime. The first half showcases the bizarre attitude of the girl to which the boy succumbs and does everything for her, setting up pure comedy and witty, hilarious sequences. The second half of the film explains the girl's bizarre attitude and unfolds all the drama behind the girl's comedic behavior in the first half. A very cleverly written script turns the laughing audience into a crying one in a short span of time. The odd sequences in first half are linked as the second half unfolds with pure melodrama. But the 'overtime' part brilliantly concludes all the comedy and drama that spread-out in the preceding two parts. The heart-warming ending (which I will not reveal, for I recommend that people watch it) left me laughing in tears.

The entire movie focuses on just two people, 'Kyun Woo' (Cha Tae Hyun) and Jeon Ji Hyun (Her name isn't even mentioned during the entire film, so we call her ‘The Girl’). The stars did a very good job of keeping up 'very' good chemistry. The guy who plays Kyun Woo has the most wonderful facial expressions. Since we see everything from Kyun-Woo’s point of view, his emotions varies from shambling, shy, pitiable and adorable for scenes when required. The girl just cracks me up with incredible expressions. Her enigmatic charm and acting (she laughs, threatens Kyun-Woo and cries in same scene) makes the film very appealing. Some of her expressions are just priceless; sometimes she needn’t say anything, her expressions speak for what we ought to know.

The exciting moments in the film were a surprise action scene, a blind date that bowls you in splits at the end, squash ball that always hits hero’s face, hero giving 10 rules to date to her new boyfriend. The cinematography of the film was outstanding, for it captured every scene perfectly, also showcasing the good-looking milieu of Korea. The soundtrack very much added to the emotion of the film's most significant sequences. I like the piano piece very much when Kyun Woo gives her a rose as she plays. Though the movie moves at a smooth pace, Jae-young Kwak's screenplay and direction, added with smart dialogues are incredible, keeps us occupied.

I'm sure some would avoid this film simply because it's Korean - but that's where you'd make a mistake. This one was certainly worth watching. Absolutely entertaining but maintaining a touching side to it. You'll laugh, you'll cry, no matter who you are. I guarantee it. Please avoid the poisoned lift of this film under same title in Hollywood (2008) and Bollywood version of Ugly Aur Pagli starring Mallika Sherawat.

Mr. Critic 5-Star: ****

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Discrimination: The Other Face

2010-03-29T21:43:00.009+05:30

Visitors are encouraged to send their articles to be published in my blog. Mail it to cooldude_icebond@yahoo.co.in

This is from one of my friends Vinodini (vinodini1606@gmail.com)

It is very prudent that the conscience of the world is constantly expanding. The planet wearily is setting out only trepidations amongst its dwellers. This very thought of dread holds strong even the common sailor’s mind for him to skim safely all through his journey despite the dexterous technological developments in this world. I take a pause here to think deeply what are going on in anile’s and senile’s minds?? It is very difficult even for a techno-savvy to figure out the roots of their thoughts.

Yes, when we talk of racial discrimination against Indians in many parts of the world, what is the name of that we are doing to our father’s and grand father’s?? Is it not racial discrimination more precisely discrimination under grounds of age…?? By all means there is a new kind of disease rampant in the universe “The increasing old age homes in India”. Is there not legal philosophy so as to reduce the sprouting old age homes as to how we have quota system to almost everything in our country? To my astonishment I found there are no acts to control this. The glass is empty. As mercury soars in summer, the numbers of old age homes are in a peak. That’s why I chose this space with this language as a blurb to express my ambivalence and spread the feel of ancestral aroma around…

Perhaps it is time to reassess the capricious ideas in our mind about “old age”. Old age is generally characterized by delicacy, fragility, decrepitude, loss of appetite, loss of interest; feel of neglecting, emotional vociferation, loss of memory, tumultuous health, and existential strain running through the volume of each and every nerve that makes them feel the business of living is a tough going. It is that feeling of isolation rather a mere feel of as most of us say “It is what they feel for themselves. We don’t really ignore them”. For people who utter this take a break place your hands on your heart pledge for yourself

1. Don’t you ignore them?

2. Do you give them the respect we ought to give them?

3. Do we have patience to sit by their side, lend our helping hands and listen to their words?

“No. No. No”. A vehement outcry from my side!!!

The apparent causes being a larger number of underlying problems very intense and deep. Is the lack of family bonding, lack of supporting family structures, increasing pressure to perform in this competitive world, changes in domestic structures, germinating nuclear families with all family members working 10/6 a week makes ourselves overwrought that we spread the same kind of depressed butterflies to all of them around us??

At this juncture a barrage of doubts cloud around me!!! As old people are more vulnerable to the vicissitudes how are we going to handle the pressure??? As their children, their grand children, I feel that we remain a bit passive while we are not able to shield them and give them their Swaraj! As I try to run down the memory lane unfolding the pages of the souvenir when you were a child! Sit back!! Think!!!

When you were unable to eat and they had to feed you! When they came running to lift you when we fell down wantedly or slipped unknowingly! When failure was the only reality each and every time you tried to walk, talk, read! Simplest but commonest riding a bicycle to fulfilling your hardest but rarest dreams, the care they took to nurture you along with your dreams! Their words which gave you re-birth to your mind when it was in dismay. Their love when you feared to face the world. The legacy of any language can’t explain it. In the contrary those actions have no words they just stand as swoosh of sword play in every child’s heart. They did not just love us; they loved us with our feelings, aims, aspirations, and emotions almost for their entire life. It depends on the child to fair play the heroism of his/her parents. Nothing comes without hard work.

Just take your mind off the souvenir now. A small historical incident to make you understand what great people of India followed and we don’t. Mrs.Sudha Murthy a post graduate from IISC, a successful academician before associating herself with Infosys worked for the Telco, now Tata Motors where she was the first lady candidate to work in the factory’s shop floor. She had to resign her job owing to the reasons that Mr. Narayana Murthy was starting a new company and she had to shift to Pune. She met JRD Tata and expressed her grief of leaving Telco. JRD asked, “What will you do when you are successful?” She replied, “Sir we don’t know if we’ll be successful”. JRD replied, “Never start with diffidence. Always start with confidence. When you are successful you must give back to society. Society gives us so much; we must reciprocate. Wish you al the best”.

When the uncrowned king of Indian Industry was so considerate about giving back to society something, we guys never do a justice to our parents compared to what they did to us. Throwing some light into the scenario that exists in a family today

A school going child is a jockey itself riding its mind horse to win a race.

A teen ager is worried about his/her girl/boy friend not messaging/talking with heads hung down, eyes straining through the screen of the mobile, ears constantly tracking the sound of the ring tone for the incoming messages and hands busily pressing the key pad and mind engaged in some insane thoughts.

A mother worried about the missed episode in a daily soap or the episode she is going to miss the next day where she’ll miss the track of story or the next door woman’s new designer saree being better than hers.

A father tallies his accounts in MSExcel and deeply engaged in his work forgetting what’s going on in the rest of the world. When an old man/woman tries to talk to any person in the above categories failure is the reality.

But, was this the way we were brought up? Didn’t our parents take part in each and every smallest change they found in us? Correct the faltering steps which we laid?

Be true and humble to only your heart, need not even show it to the person next to you. Don’t you have time merely few minutes to shower love just a bit a very small bit of love on the quondam person near you, the person who gave birth to you/ or your caring husband/ beautiful wife/responsible dad/loving mom. The only way to reduce the epidemic which is refusing to respond to any medicine is to use the casual and usual lines of love and say though not true, though not deep from heart “I care for you and you are important to me” to a heart that longs for love and affection being given it to all in the earlier stages and when it is time get it back... Let the movement of your lips this time serve a good cause. Please do thrust some smile into it. The umbrella formed by your smile may shelter that person even though you don’t realize it.

This one way to make the clouds around me bring good rain and not acid rain that leaches away the beauty is just find time once in a day 15 minutes sit beside your dad/mom/grand mom/grand dad, take their hands into yours caressingly any say “I LOVE YOU” (don’t forget to force yourself with the conditions mentioned above). Be a patient listener. Listen to their queries though you don’t really listen to them, just nod your head. That will bring in trust and confidence in their minds. Care for them sympathetically. Show them your affection and prove that you value them. Feel them they are not desolated by showing your empathy. Learn to handle their emotions in terms of set backs and adopt a positive frame of mind in front of them. Never degrade their habits or rebuke their actions. Impart in them audacity, imbibe temerity through your words. They are in their second child phase. This is a gift of nature to all humans. Have a broad mind to bow and submit you to the pitch…

Abiding an adage “You change no man unless he tries and changes himself” Reading the spate of words here I don’t expect all to become Mahatma’s but they for sure are not going to live long, give them a peaceful death. Don’t gun them with a slug that slush’s the remaining scrimpy quantity of blood in their veins. Do remember that right actions in the future are the best apologies for the mistakes done in the future.

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3 Idiots- Aal Izz Well

2009-12-26T16:09:00.006+05:30

Mr. Critic had never reviewed a film in a day or two from its release; all he had done is to take a film that date months or years. But for the first time he had come up with something for Aamir Khan’s that has created a buzz in industry- 3 IDIOTS. I don’t have the faintest idea of how 5-point someone is and after knowing the film is loosely based on this novel, I didn’t show any interest to grab the book from stores as WYRIWYDG (What You Read Is What You Don’t Get) because of the displeasure that Harry Potter series had left in me. This marks Aamir’s return to big screen after the Mgea Maga Blockbuster GHAJINI (the film that didn’t deserve so much of hype), Rajkumar Hirani’s product after critically acclaimed Lage Raho Munna Bhai. It couldn’t get bigger, right? So does this film live up to its expectations? Or is it another Ghajini kinda stuff?

Life is not about getting marks but chasing your dreams. Two friends Farhan (Madhavan) and Raju (Sharman) sets off a journey to find their lost friend Rancho (Aamir) As the journey kicks off, we are shown their college memories, how Rancho stimulated them and brought a change in their lives through a series of flashbacks. The film brings out hard hitting reality of your educational system; rot learning has become a part of students’ life. The characters are real and each one of us can relate to in some part of your life. The screenplay is gripping that you don’t need to look into your watch repeatedly.

3 Idiots is not Aamir’s one man show. It belongs to everyone. Each and every character slips into their role. Aamir is showing flexibility for his every film. A revolutionary youngster, loving teacher, a killer on the run now dons a comic college goer. Though he looks too old to be called as a college-goer at some places, he makes us to dump it into abyss with his rib-tickling performance. Aamir is full of energy. Madhavan as the guy who's chasing his dad's dreams rather than his own is great. Sharman is another surprise who does his role with ease. But the show-stealer is Boman Irani, who was outstanding in his autocratic Principal. His mannerisms and dialogue delivery are exceptional that I could relate him with our Principal. Kareena has nothing much to do but she does her job neatly for given space.

The photography deserves a special mention for transporting us to Ladakh and Shimla. The aerial shots are a pleasant treat for our eyes. The first half is fast-packed and hilarious and at the interval there is a twist that leaves you stunned and keeps you hooked to the movie. The film lags its pace in the latter half of the second half with some of the scenes were dragged. Mona Singh Delivery Scene was not at all funny. Songs, on hearing were ordinary but they were good on screen. (But few are annoying and unwanted) The climax is a surprise package and credits to the director for sketching it.

Hirani and Joshi’s screenplay is engaging and enlightening. Overall the movie does give you a fantastic feeling, make you forget all your problems, laugh-out-loud and get-little-emotions for three hours. It is neither a daringly different film-making nor an award winning stuff. It has feel-good factor and a perfect holiday present.

3 Idiots- 3 Cheers to Hirani

Mr. Critic 5-Star: ***1/2

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Quiz 3: Princess need a thingie to put a thingie

2009-12-16T12:53:00.004+05:30

Once upon a time there lived a king who had a beautiful daughter, Princess Genelia. But she had a strange problem. Everything she touched would melt. No matter what; metal, wood, plastic- anything she touched melt down. For the reason of this, men were scared of her. Nobody would dare marry her.

The despaired king consulted his sorcerers and wizards to find a solution and help his daughter out. One wizard, Arv applied Eyetex kajal in the betel leaf he had for making his PAAN BEEDA. On seeing the 20mm output, he told the king, "Your daughter had a curse in her previous birth. But there is a remedy. If she touches one thing that does not melt in her hands, she will be cured."

The king was delighted. The next day, he held a competition. Any man that could bring his daughter an object that would not melt would marry her and become heir to the king's wealth. Three young princes took up the challenge.

The first prince, Chriz brought a very hard alloy of Tungsten as it has the highest melting point. But alas, once the princess touched it, it melted. He went away dejected.

The second prince, Lance brought a huge diamond, thinking that diamond is the hardest substance in the world and surely, it would not melt. But alas, once the princess touched it, it melted. He too walked crestfallen.

The third prince, Karthik approached. He told the princess, "My lady, Put your hand in my pocket and feel what is in there." The arena gave ‘WHAAAATTT’ and ‘WHEEEWWWWWWWW’ sounds. The princess did as she was told, though she turned red. She felt something hard. She held it in her hand. And it did not melt!!

The stadium fell silent. The next second, screams, uproars and cheers rent the air. Everybody in the kingdom was thrilled. Chriz and Lance were clapping with a horrible forced smile. Karthik married the princess and they both lived happily ever after.

But The Question is :

What was the object in the prince's pants?

They were Britannia Little Hearts!

They melt in your mouth, not in your hand.

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FLIRT FAILURES: FF- PART 4

2009-11-24T19:27:00.004+05:30

For Part-I, CLICK HERE

We can break a woman’s mind into two sections- Friends, Lovers. The friends’ part is where a woman puts guys that she considers "just friends" The problem arises because a woman never lets a guy know which section he is on. Obviously the line of partition is so thin between these two sections. How to find on which section he is in? On a lighter note, declare as soon as possible that you are not going to be her ‘friend’ All a guy can do is make a move on a girl; ask her out, write her a love note, gifts, cards or whatever. If he's on the Lover’s section, fine. If he is on the friends’ section, now there are two chances. One, he can be promoted to Lovers’ section; the girl can let him in. Second, the girl can give him a tight slap across his face and remind him “we are just friends” followed by in few weeks you are dumped forcibly into a new section- Hatred, that teaches you repugnance, humiliation etc.

So what are the stuffs a girl can say, that shuffle your mind between two sections?

Did you eat? No- Oh Please dear, have it soon else I won’t talk with you
I Love your Messages
You are like my Teddy Bear
We both have same taste and likings
Your shirt/pant/trouser is super
Shall we meet in Canteen? I’ll sponsor for you. Don’t let your friends know it…
Please don’t take leave to classes today… I cannot spend a day without seeing you
Is Aunty busy? What she is doing?
I feel like talking to you anything... You are the one to whom I have shared most of my secrets…
I could see your face in my books…
You are so nice

Your mind says, “She loves me” I give a kick in the head and say “Sorry... you are in friends’ section”

What will be a girl’s reaction when you propose her? She says “No... I never thought of you like that” or “I need some space” or “I need some time” or “I'm really into my career right now." But she isn’t into any of the thing. She is lying to you. What she’s really meant is “Get away from me now” (Friends’ section) or “You need to try harder, my man” (Lovers’ section)

Most of the men get boozed or smoke once a girl rejects them. You obviously can't force her to like you more than a friend. Girls would be bit annoyed if you ask them again. Let’s say, you were given the option of A, B or C from your teacher and if you choose A, she says “You are wrong. I give you another chance”, what would you do? Will you say A again? If yes, be grateful that she left your balls and sorry Shithead, go and fuck yourself. If you go for B and C, apply this to your state and move on. There are plenty more fish in the sea and keep your eye on a few of them. Just stop fishing once you get the desired Fish. By behaving with as much dignity as possible, being charming and wonderful, let her know what she missed out on.

Whether you're a pretty girl or not, boys will come looking for you. It's a natural thing. Opposites attract each other. Sometimes beautiful women come across men who don’t know any signs of love to her. Reasons: Maybe he finds you unattractive, maybe you are in friend’s section or maybe he is GAY. Next, bleak girls get more boyfriends. Lot of guys use the tactic of making friends with the less attractive friend of a girl that they want to love (Personally, this too never worked for me as they find me bleak :D) Sometimes these girls are trapped to believe that the guy likes her but actually he want to hit at her friend. Women are more interested in long-term relationships than men. When a man tells you, "I love and I will always love you" don't take it for granted. The important thing is this. You need to know as much as possible about the man you are involved to. Evaluate the love. Analyze him. Boys are very good with the art of seduction and pretense. So be careful.

I was criticized for bashing women in most of my posts. It’s not that I think women are bad since they showed thumbs down. I hang out with girls who I find unattractive, but there are girls who find me unattractive either. So there’s fairness. I’m presenting the world how I perceive it. I’m not angry that women like guys who have money. Indeed, my bank balance is producing a progressive graph, thanks to this. It is hard because your heart is crushing right in front of the girl, but at least she is being honest and I found out where the relationship really is. You are hopeless to find your girl with the wrong man and she is finding happiness that is never going to be with you. Women are the most beautiful thing to happen on earth.

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FLIRT FAILURES: FF- PART 3

2009-11-17T20:32:00.004+05:30

Why women sometimes just want to be friends? I met A, who is pretty and seems interesting to talk to. We started hanging out, kept on sending unlimited, idiotic messages like “Hi... What doing?” for every 30 minutes. So I developed an attraction to her and after few months, I proposed her. But she told she doesn't think of me that way and she wants to remain friends and preached some advises like career, caste blah blah to which I turned deaf. The next few weeks, the throughput of messages reduced and she never returned my phone calls. The things between us fell off.

God was well pleased with his devotee. So God asked him, "Ask my son, whatever you wish for I am well pleased with you."

He said, "My dear God I would like to have a bridge all the way from Chennai to Kashmir so that I can travel all along India.”

God said, "Son, This is not such a good idea you know. Think about the resources that I will have to divert to this project; the concrete, the steel, the pilings in the rivers, the reinforcements from hurricanes etc, prone to terrorist attacks. I don't think that is a good idea. Why don't you ask for something else?"

He said, "OK God, this I have been really wanting for a long time. You know how women are? They start crying all of a sudden for no reason. When you come home they expect you to read their minds. When they are really saying yes, they will be telling you no. Can I please, please, have the powers so I can understand a woman's mind?"

God promptly said, "Son can we talk about the bridge you wanted."

It’s difficult to read a Girl’s mind, right? Sometimes a girl’s activities lead us to the thought that she is in love with us. But actually she isn’t. The other case, she insults and fights with you, makes us to feel the abhorrence but it means she likes you more. A woman's mind is too complex for even a genius to unravel. They never really know what they want.... no but seriously. Reading a woman, knowing what she is thinking has to be one of the most difficult things any man could ever attempt.

There is lot of factors on which a woman rating system (For a Guy) works. The first one being Money. Every woman prefers a guy who earns a lot, well settled in life, who can buy her chocolates, teddy bears, Jewelries, Dresses etc. Looks are not to be discounted. I see many girls jump to about “Ohhhhh… My Gawwwwdd… He is Sooooo Cuteeee…” emotions when they see some good looking guy or some guy from a crappy movie (Recently Surya, Arya, Madhavan, Ranbir Kapoor) Common girls, if u want them they should get married at least 100 times a day and what about average-looking guys (erg.… Okay, bad looking! Happy now? ) like us should do? Now don’t hit at me like Anushka, Shriya and Asin etc. Then she says “I look for a guy with good sense of humour, intelligent, sensible and caring” as add-on packages. As far as to my knowledge, this is completely rubbish. But there are few rare cases in this.

So if you cannot encipher and decipher a girl’s language, here are some examples.

G1: I want a caring boy friend
Actual: I want a boyfriend who can take care of my expenses

G2: I want a lovable boyfriend
Actual: I want a boyfriend who can get things I Love.

G3: (Not the blogger sis…: D) I want a boyfriend who is dedicated and hard working
Actual: He should earn more

G4: Family Background should be good
Actual: Replace “GOOD” with “RICH”

G5: He should respect Woman
Actual: He should get me things I want

Now moving on, how to score with a woman? Simple, “Don’t show too much interest in her” Women seem to especially like it. Show interest in destroying her self-esteem and in flirting with her friends more than her seem to work wonders. Note, Conditions apply. Next, “Think Different” If you are like every other guy who sticks to a normal job and live a good life, you are segregated in Normal category. Why should girls dig you? They never. Girls never want someone who is just like everyone else. Be different and you are Odd man out. You are a crazy driver who can draw circuit diagrams on road? Then you are in the game. Again Conditions Apply. Warning, being different is not to kick some one’s ass, smoke, drink etc… But sometimes if you do this, certain girls are attracted.

So now the final question, FRIENDa?? LOVERa?? The experiment and inference will be discussed in next post.

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Born Criminals -1

2009-11-10T13:15:00.007+05:30

You all would have heard of The Three Musketeers, The Three Roses and The Three Idiots. Now, I’m introducing you the Three Culprits- Lancelot, Chronie, Karthik. We explore into their past, give the readers a sample of their felonious minds while they are kids and take you for a roller-coast ride filled with adventure, sentiments and erg, humor.

Even while as a kid, Chronie always has the charm to attract girls. Lance on the other hand has the brain to break this charm and attract the girls to him. Little Lance never hits a girl whose status is Single. He is a love breaker and always drools at girls committed to Chronie and Karthik. A visibly upset Karthik told, “Emma and I were so close. But Lance, just like a snake slid into our relation, wore a GOOD BOY image and broke us.” From there on Little Karthik never told his crushes nor his girlfriends (though Lance kept on spying) knowing “A little introduction to Little Lance is the fitting conclusion to the relation” But there was one girl who Lance couldn’t trap. She is Wolfie. (Romantic Medley now.. The beginning of Jashn E Baharaa from Jodha Akbhar)

Wolfie made an open challenge that she would place her leg on anyone’s closed fist and the one who could lift her (like Kilakke Poghum Rayil Radhika) will be her Mr. Date. Karthik broke his fists badly and was put into ICU for days. On hearing this, Bala offered him a role for his NAAN KADAVUL. Little Lance who kept on hitting the Gym for this task, while eavesdropping, heard the name as Gulfie and went to an Ice Cream parlor nearby getting a fistful of GULFIE ice-creams. As usual Chronie succeeded thanks to his red underwear that gives him power like SUPERMAN thus silencing the critics who thought it would not be the same like he lifted Taj Mahal few months back. To all the readers, who think I’m metaphorically saying Wolfie as Taj Mahal, may God Bless You.

A fuming Lancelot carried out all his plans to break this relation but all were thwarted by Chronie and his red underwear. Lance once tried to rob that underwear but fell cataleptic because of the underwear’s aroma. Poor Lance never knew that Chronie never washed it in his life (Sources say Chronie removes his underwear during rain afraid that it might get washed) and was hospitalized for days. It’s been days since Lance had a good sleep and the moment he closed his eyes, images of Chronie and Wolfie (Lance visualized something bigger than 70 mm so as to accommodate Wolfie into the screen space) kept on lingering in his dreams. Little Lancelot came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner. His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted.

"Mom, I want Wolfie."

“WTF? You are a kid Lance!”

“I’m matured enough to get her. I want her and you have to do something.”

“Okay! You write a letter to God telling him reasons why you want her and you think that you deserve her better than Chronie”

Little Lancelot stomped up the steps to his room and sat down to write God a letter.

LETTER 1: Dear God, I have been a very good boy this year and I want Wolfie and an underwear for my birthday. I want a red one. Your friend, Lancelot

Lancelot knew this wasn't true. He had not been a very good boy this year, so he tore up the letter and started over.

LETTER 2: Dear God, This is your friend Lancelot. I have been a little good boy this year, and I would like a red underwear and Wolfie for my birthday. Thank you, Lancelot

Lancelot knew he could not send this letter to God either, as it is not true and so he wrote another letter.

LETTER 3: Dear God, I know I haven't been a good boy this year. I am very sorry. I will be a good boy if you help me win over Wolfie. So just send me red underwear for my birthday. Thank you, Lancelot

He couldn’t control himself from laughing at the letter and so tore this too. By now, Lancelot was very upset. He went downstairs and told his mother he wanted to go to church. Lancelot's mother thought her plan had worked because Lancelot looked very sad.

"Just be home in time for dinner" his mother said.

Lancelot walked down the street to the church and up to the bench. He looked around to see if anyone was there. He picked up a statue of the Virgin Mary. He slipped it under his shirt and ran out of the church, down the street, into his house, and up to his room. He shut the door to his room and sat down with a piece of paper and a pen. Lancelot began to write his letter to God.

LETTER 4: I'VE GOT YOUR MAMA. IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND THE RED UNDERWEAR WRAPPED IN A PARCEL, CARRIED BY WOLFIE. Signed, YOU KNOW PHOO

Moral: The LOVE created more criminals than any other single act of government

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Letter to GOD

2009-11-03T16:06:00.005+05:30

A little boy wanted Rs.100 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened. Finally he decided to write God a letter requesting him to send 100 Rupees. He marked the envelope

God,

C/o Heaven

When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God, they decided to forward it to the Finance Minister of India as a joke. The Finance Minister was so amused, that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy Rs.60 thinking that 100 would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy, and he did not want to spoil the kid. The little boy, once he got the amount was delighted with Rs.60, and decided to write a thank you note to God,

"Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that you sent it through the Finance Minister in Delhi and those ****** deducted Rs.20 in taxes... Added to my misery were the corrupt officials, who had in turn taken another 20 from it, leaving me only the balance. Be careful by the next time! Thanks again!"

This post is dedicated to the Postal authorities for delivering my GRE materials after I’d done with my exam. Please do deliver my TOEFL materials beforehand.

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Quiz 2: Conductor and the Milk Bottle

2009-10-23T13:48:00.008+05:30

Once there was a bus conductor, who was very rude to his passengers. One day a beautiful young girl, of around 18 years, tried to board the bus, but he didn't stop the bus. Unfortunately the beautiful young girl came under the bus and died on the spot. Angry passengers took the conductor to the police station, who in turn took him to the court.

The judge was not at all impressed with him and gave him capital punishment. He was taken to the electrocution chamber. There was a single chair in the center of the room and a single milk bottle at one corner of the room. The conductor was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given to him. But to everyone's amazement, he survived. The judge decided to set him free, and he returned to his profession.

After a few months, this time, a good looking middle aged woman tried to board the bus but the conductor didn't stop the bus. Unfortunately, this time also, the good looking middle aged woman came under the bus and died on the spot. Again angry passengers took him to the police station, who in turn took him to the court. The judge took one look at the conductor and gave him capital punishment. The Bus conductor was taken to the same electrocution chamber where there was a single chair in the center of the room and a single milk bottle at one corner of the room. He was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given to him. This time also to everyone's amazement, he survived. The judge decided to set him free, and he returned to his profession.

A couple of months later, an elderly gentleman tried to board the bus. This time the Bus conductor, remembering his earlier experiences, stopped the bus. Unfortunately the elderly gentleman slipped and died due to his injuries. The conductor was taken to the police station and then to the court, to the same judge. Though he hadn't done anything wrong, but considering his past record the judge decided to set an example and gave him capital punishment.

The Bus conductor was again taken to the same electrocution chamber where there was a single chair in the center of the room and a single milk bottle at one corner of the room. He was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given to him. This time he died instantly!!!!!!!!!!!

The question is why didn't he die on the first two occasions, but died instantly the third time?? Try to solve it yourselves. This is rather interesting and answer is perfectly logical. If necessary read the puzzle once again.

Still you couldn't, then see below.......

Think hard

Common!!

Tired....

Wanna know the answer????

Ok!! Here is the Answer...

During the first two times, the conductor was a Bad Conductor, therefore electricity didn't pass through him. But during the third time, he was a Good Conductor, so electricity passed through him freely and he died!!!!!!!!

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