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Lingo - Bingo

1.04.2009

Where is the Party?? Ah Nambha Ootla Party!! (Trans: Party in our House)

When clock strikes 12 midnight, a day dies. But when the same clock (devoid of its battery power) strikes 12 on January-31 midnight, a year dies (Clap! Clap! Clap!) As 2008 is buried to peace and 2009 is born with many celebrations despite being its life less a day than 2008 (Remember February has only 28 days) 

First I thought I’d write how my 2008 had gone like my 41% of the blogger friends have posted. But my scruples clubbed me, why I’ve to let myself down in public (as if you’d not!) Then I thought of writing a poem like my 27% of the blogger friends have posted.

Another Year had gone

Rippling my bones

Saying this with a cheerless tone

Will the New Year provide in our life, a Dawn

Then………. I’d a big YAAAWN!!

 

Penning Poems is not my forte.  So like 14% of my blogger friends thought of writing about NO TO TERRORISM, A WORLD WITH PEACE 2009, BUBYE CORRUPT POLITICIANS and all those related with Politics. This is called Citizen Journalism. I’m so indecisive that I’m not sure whether I can call myself so and I was thrown into a boxing arena where BJP, Congress and Raj Thackeray knock me on a daily basis. Saying No to Politics, because Politicians themselves a joke, so how do I provide more fun to it?

So like 18% of my blogger friends thought of writing about my New Year Resolutions. Every problem has a solution and every resolution has a problem. Hence I never take any resolutions which will dissolve within hours of taking office. Well then, what do I write about? That, folks is a clear-cut problem with me. I’m dithering, unable to make up my mind.My friend A, who picks me out to pubs (if our funds are large) or to beach (if our funds are void) on New Year Eve is out of city and so I couldn’t write down how my January-1 2009 opened. I slept by 9.30 PM on December-31, the reason being worst shows and films were telecasted in TV, that drove me to forty winks. January-1 had no special actions in the absence of A and I slept, ate, played EA SPORTS- CRICKET 08 (I’m Dutch Captain), EURO 08(England Forward) in my system defeating most of the oppositions (Gorrr!!).

I’ve never went to a pub without A because he is the backbone for my finances. If you ask him what the Levi's Jean cost at Lifestyle is, he will give a cold look. Ask him the entry fee for late-night parties at clubs, 4 star hotels; sure he hits the bull’s eye. The muscular guy has more bouncers and bartenders as his friend and no surprise if he sprang the right answer. We would smack into pubs at least once in two months before he left to the B-city. Few pubs discount the entry fee if you are a pair- Couple Passes. He would bring some of his friends(Girls) so as to get the concession and after we enter into it, everyone turn as a Stranger (Those girls never mind me and a few of our friends- A being the cynosure) Fed-up with their attitude, I thought of asking him WE TWO ARE A PAIR, RIGHT? Why we need girls? Then it punched me “WE HAVE TO GO WITH GIRL-FRIENDS, NOT GAY-FRIENDS” If we’d went as a pair (or couple) the bouncers would give an odd look and give entry-passes to DOSTANA. Added to it, my parent never leaves me out after 9 until I got a valid reason. So I’ve to create new ideas like Exams, pre-Project, Paper-Presentation for Symposium (My dad gives wary looks as if I’m really into for Studies thanks to my Scores in Exams) So let me put up the conversation we’d at a pub on December-31 2007 and the theory in found on the day- Karthik’s Law of Flirtivity, which would enlighten thousands of Youngistans across the globe.

December-31 2007

11.30 PM: Dim light and DJ has put an English Track. I couldn’t understand any word in the Song and was staring at Young girls, few of whom were drunk, dancing with Guys and Boy Friends. I was sipping the Orange Juice, A talking with Bartender with a mug of Beer and others sticking on to other alcoholic beverages brand. I don’t drink because


REASON-1: I haven’t tried in my life so far (SLAP! SLAP!) And I won’t (SLAP! SLAP!)


REASON-2: When we leave back, to escape from Cops’ regime who fine (or charge) for Driving under the influence of Alcohol. Last year, when I was not around, they had to cry 2000 for Cops. So to take them home safe and save those bugs which could be invested in future plans, I didn’t.

 

11.45 PM: New Track running and Gen-Y were burning the dance floor. I was staring a pretty looking girl (like Sonam Kapoor) for minutes who gave a smile to me, which I responded pretty badly. (I was not sure the reason behind her smile). She didn’t dance like Beyonce or Shakira but her movements had elegance. My heart was pounding fast whether I shall make a move by asking her for a dance. But my legs were numb because


REASON-1: I don’t want to be slapped by a girl in the year-end. I’d a suspicion that she might be under the influence of Alcohol or I don’t want someone standing at my back, arms folded “Could You move? I’m her Boyfriend!” And I’m the Founder, Chairman, Treasurer and all of GHG party (stands for Girls Hatred Guys) in my college. I’d dissolved it as it has lost the majority of 4 members who had fallen for a girl at different circumstances, leaving me as SINGLE…………………… member of the party


REASON-2: I don’t know to dance- me shaking a leg in what I thought is a dance, while the rest of the crowd will call the ambulance fearing I’d come over with the sudden onset of critical nervous disorder. I could rip off my Tee-Shirt and flaunt SRK’s 6packs, Amir’s 8packs but all I’ve was 6-bones and the pack would be surprised that the Hotel management has arranged a special SKELETON DANCE for the bash if I’d done so.

 

11.59 PM: DJ has stopped his composition for few seconds.  Count-down running and the hall was in silence. Lights Off! BLAST from DJ! “HAPPY NEW YEAR” echoing everywhere and I turned right to wish M (A’s friend) who was sitting there. But he’d vanished and I could see him in the crowd talking with BLAST! (This is my heart’s…….) talking with Sonam. I didn’t mind to notice them (rather annoyed) and after few minutes, tired of talking some nonsense, M returned with a smile as if he’d won a battle or got first mark in his University exams (He won’t for sure! Ha Ha!) As the rest of the gang joined with us, M started to flaunt his achievement.


M: Brilliant way to start New Year and I’m thrilled. Did you see?

A: Young Men wishing all the pretty girls and few responded sweetly to their gesture.

M: The lady in the pink was one among the few (Pointing to Sonam who had joined with her gang giving him a hint of smile)

I gave an icy stare (Burning stomach)

S (Girl): How did you start the conversation? We won’t reciprocate soon. Flattered with poems?

M: Yeah! I Wished her a Happy New Year.

A: To which she smiled and said Wish you the same. It seems for the next few days, it’s going to be three little words that could come to rescue of the men- Happy New Year (Laughs)

M: Then started with a ‘Hi and haven’t we met before?’

ME (mimicking in Girl voice): Really? I thought you were blind!

M: She said May Be in dreams and laughed.

S: It’s not a joke.

M: I know but to entertain her, I lied you have good humor sense and replied 'Oh! So that’s why my dreams were Beautiful as you were in!'

A (tensed): Esssssssssssshhhh

M: Hey, you are looking gorgeous

ME: you know how to spell it? So this was the word you were searching in Oxford Dictionary yesterday?  

S: Many a time girls would refuse to entertain such one liner posed to them by prospective men, trying to woo the lady.

M: But today was my day, she liked it and especially my quote 'While coming here, I couldn’t see any stars in the sky but now I can!'

ME: Because you are over-drunken. Better leave this hall

M: Because the Star is inside the party hall chatting with me.

ME: Fraud! That’s the forward message which I’d send you yesterday and you modified it. You’ve cooked out an age old recipe in a new perspective

M: And after few exchange of jokes, we exchanged our numbers.

A: Never you call it what you’ve cracked there as Joke. Sick and……

S: She might be kinds who haven’t read any SMS forwards. If she had she wouldn’t have entertained your speech. Anyways Lady Luck was with you today. If I’d been there, you wouldn’t leave unscathed.

M: Burning stomach friends you are.

(I’d two eyes on his mobile hoping to burn it immediately and Sonam who has left the party hall waving him BYE!)

 

THEORY OF FLIRTIVITY:

HAPPY NEW YEAR- The greeting has turned out to be the most happening phrase of this season and the one that most lovelorn young men are opting to get the conversation going with that special lady. And it seems, the simple phrase has its loyal set of fans that vouch for its efficacy in these festive days. The trend of searching the lady love has shifted to Parties, pubs from Bus stand, Temple, College and Internet.

I alarm at the thought of approaching a pretty looking Femi at public places (even at college: P Are they pretty?? Remember your Tee-Shirt quote, 99%of the girls are beautiful, Rest 1% are in my class) Prefer to play it safe. If you compliment a girl directly, about she looks, she’s sure to cold-shoulder or cut you (You’ve been staring at my *****??) A subtle approach is best because one can never be sure of a girl’s reaction.

Now moving to the fairer sex, women are well geared-up for the onslaught of over-friendly (dribbling, a little) men, doesn’t matter their looks, color, size who draw near them rehearsal the H word umpteen times. Girls prefer being polite even when they bump into a stranger (Alien) wishing them on the occasion. If you strike up “HAPPY NEW YEAR BUDDY!” to them, they snap you back “WISH YOU THE SAME” and move away to a different quarter to avoid any further tête-à-tête (Giggle in them, still a mystery! Vinnie, Seno, Gayu any idea?)

It sounds like a charming albeit cheesy way to flatter a woman. But a party hall filled with 100+ anomalous people, girls wouldn’t really bother because before falling into your quarter, she would’ve stumbled upon Harry, Jerry, Tom and Sam who failed to woo them and now it’s your chance to get a BULB.


INFERENCE:

Few guys have the charisma and honey-coated words (poems too, as if brother of Shakespeare) to woo a lady. And my friend is one such a guy. So my New Year Resolution is to break this relation before the release of DELHI-6 (They’ve planned for an outing: P) and stop sending Forward messages which helped him to win her over! The SATAN unleashed! 


Thanks! Keep Visiting!!

 

21 Droplets:

Lancelot said...

me the first...

Senorita said...

@ Karthik...me too went to sleep early this year...agree the TV prog are not worth watching and it is better to grab the much needed 40 winks...

you better study hard and be the top student in your class and ensure that your father does not disconnect the internet connection...

Aparnaa said...

Mr. Dostana! :P Back to blogging? I really loved the Skeleton Dance part.. Imagine it? Ha ha!! Let the SATAN succeed.... :) Heard u r on the verge of re-forming GHG?

Ajai said...

I know who the A is.. :) Really loved the line Stars and over-drunk conversation The bartenders and bouncers know you won't drink!!! I heard they are going for Chandni Chowk to China first!! Cud u pre-pone ur plan??

swati said...

finaaly ur back...
hey it was an awesome post yaar..something usual written in a vry diffrnt way..
good going buddy..
njoi..!!

Vinnie said...

hey K, this one's as crazy n witty as ever!!
entry-passes to DOSTANA !!! Karthik’s Law of Flirtivity - to ensure an outing for ur friend n ur girlfriend:))
special SKELETON DANCE !! high time u put ur pic here:)
girls?? i dunno myself...how can i tell u:) with mood swings every 2 minutes, we better be 'avoided'!!
All the best to our Satan anna...

Lancelot said...

@ kartik endra nallavan...

Neenga M thaan ippadiyellam pannunaan nee ethuvume pannala appadinu sonna naanga ellam nambidanum...ketkaravan kennayaa iruntha JK ritheesh padam 100 days odinuchunu sollvaanam...

Chriz said...

haha.. i had a very great new year alone in my roomm.. a prayerful start...

loved your post.. humor it is.. keep writing bro

Scattered Thoughts... said...

Hey.. nice post.. skeleton dance.. LOL!!

Thoorika said...

Nice post!! happy to know that at least one soul didnt start off his new year with drinks!!!

Karthik said...

@Lancelot: Congratz! Keep up the spirit :P

@Seno: oh Sen! Plz don hurt me! Like writing poems, being top student s not my forte.. lets give chance 2 others!!

@Aparnaa: No yaar!! As of now no idea of resurrecting GHG! All members have gt a girllfriend.. more fund prob 2 run the party

@Ajai: He hE! If not U, who knows? :P Chandi Chowk to china?? Oh Shit!! Hw cum her dad will allow to China? :P

@Swati" I like ur comments Swati.. Though my posts are not nice, you always have a heap of Praise for me.. Sob Sob.. Such a supportive blogger u r!!

Karthik said...

@Vinnie: i don wanna scare the bloggers by putting my potos.. They wud turn off my page thinking its been run by a ghost!! My DP suggest 60% of my luks!

@Lance: Polladha Ulagam.. nallavanukke kaalame illa.. ippadi solli solliye enna kethavana aakureenga sir!!

@Chriz: Definitly i'll write dude make sure you drop atleast once or twice! :)


@ST: Wat to say? I'll surely send u a video of Skeleton Dance if u don gt scared!

@Thoorika: i wont drink 365*24*my life thoorika... Better gt me an APPY Fizzy or Slice :) Keep dropping!!

Lancelot said...

@ thoorika

read his reply to you again 365 * 24 that means he will drink on the leap year that is the 366th day....

@ Kartik

nee yaar kitta irunthu vennalum thappikalam aana SATTAthukitta irunthu mattum thappika mudiyaathu...

@ All

Sattam than kadamayai seyum...

Thoorika said...

@ Karthik and Lancelot

Good good.. Cheers fr tat!! :P But Lancelot has a point!!! I second you lancelot :P by the way Karthik, what happened to your results?!

Karthik said...

@Lance: Leap year Feb 29 Thanni la Kandam... Soa dhunaala all wine shops closed :) So on that day also i cant drink!!

@Thoorika: Cheers? Thoorika.. Watz this?? Say NO to Drinking!! :P Results?? He he... Said on 5th, 6th, 7th.. goin on and on.. u knw abt ANNA UNIV na.. Daily Results day are set out but it comes out unexpectedly.. :) Naa la perusaa enna eludirukka poren??

Chriz said...

i always come here whenever u update...

kanaguonline said...

LOL... but somehow I have managed to stay awake till 2 without drinks ;)
Skeleton dance is superb.. :)

Sivaram said...

Have a great start hehehheheh

Sivaram said...

Have a great start hehehheheh

I'll try 2 be truthful said...

i hate it when guys do all that chikna talking . realism matters

Kartz said...

Heh heh heh... Good one! :D

(Belated) New Year wishes to you and all your family. Have a great year ahead!

Peace.