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Lingo - Bingo

5.15.2009

Sender: Lancelot ; Receiver: Bill Gates; Sub: Xtra Problem (XP)

After Lancelot has leaked one of my personal letters (he has many :P), I traveled across world, meeting various people to hit back at him by getting one of the craziest letter he’d written. So this took me off from blogging scenario for a while and I’m lucky enough to get a letter that he’d written to BILL GATES. But getting this from him isn’t an easy one like walking over a ramp. I had to agree with few of his deals:

  • Work in his Microsoft for four years and decline the call letter from IBM, SUN MICROSYSTEM
  • Divorce ISLA FISHER and Engage to SCARLETT JOHANSSON
  • A role for him in my next film titled UNTITLED


Tough, aren’t they? But revenge, TRING TRING, the only word kept ringing in my mind, I agreed to those stipulations. So without further delay, I put to you the letter written by Lancelot to Bill Gates.

Dear Mr. Bill Gates,

This letter is from Lancelot from Chennai. We have bought a Computer for our home and we found problems, which I would like to bring to your notice.

Hey, I brought computer, CPU, Mouse, Web Cam, UPS and Keyboard. But when I switch on, there is only one icon named 'MY Computer', where are the remaining ones?


There is a button 'start' but there is no 'stop' button. We request you to check this.


One doubt is that any 're-bike bin' available in System? As I find only ‘re –cycle bin', but I own a PULSAR at my home.


Can I grow CAT in my house?? Won’t it kill the MOUSE you’d provided??


I’ve learnt 'Microsoft word' now I want to learn 'Microsoft sentence', so when u will provide that? Also I’ve learnt ‘Microsoft Excel (XL)’ now I want ‘Microsoft Large (L)’. Provide that too!


We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friend clicked 'run ' has run up to Mumbai! So, we request you to change that to "sit", so that we can click that by sitting.


Sir, you have put Sunset, water lilies, Blue Hills, winter in 'My Pictures' but there is not even a single photo of mine, So when u will keep my photo in that??


In My Music, you’ve provided Beethoven’s symphony. Please give my HOJA HE HOJA AAJA HE AAJA song.



I’ve won in FreeCell, Solitaire, and Hearts. Will you give me money?? I’ve got money for winning Hearts in AISHWARYA BHAI BAR. Expecting you to send me prize money for at least for three games


There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. I lost my under-wear and tried a lot for tracing it with this ' find', but unable to trace. Is it a bug?? Please, I need my under-wear immediately.


After connecting to internet we planned to open e-mail account and whenever we fill the form in Hotmail in the password column, only ****** Appears, but in the rest of the fields whatever we typed appears, but we Face this problem only in password field. We checked with hardware vendor WOLF and she said that there is no problem in keyboard. Please change ****** as letters so that we can identify our password as we have a poor memory.


You have given WINDOWS MOVIE MAKER. Without Camera-man, Producer, Light boy, Editor, Bipaasha Baasu, Lara Dutta, Priyanka Chopra, Sharukh, Salman, Yash Chopra, can I make a movie?? Will you produce the movie if I land in financial crisis at middle??



You’ve given WINDOWS MEDIA PLAYER. But I cannot play with him. So I request you to send me FOOTBALL PLAYER, CRICKET PLAYER who can play with me.


There is 'Winzip’ so having won this zip, can I use it to stitch for my pant? This is for the first time, I am going to use a zip for my pant and I would be happy if I get a golden or silver zip.


You’ve OUTLOOK EXPRESS. Can I book my train tickets?? Is it like Shadapti Express?? Tell me the to and fro of this express so that I can have a summer trip.


There is 'MICROSOFT OFFICE' and having worked with it, at the month end please send my Salary.

Linking you,

Yours user-friendly,

Lancelot @ Arun Kumar @ Fake Brad Pitt


PS 1: Dude!! If any problems, we can solve it in G-Talk. Don’t play with my job. He He! Be a Rebel.


PS 2: Our mates on May 17, goanna bang you with their two plays, assorted, Two 2 Tango, a complete laugh-riot. Don’t worry! Lance is not acting in this play. So you are safe. All the Chennaities, to kill this summer, visit Top Storey, Alliance Francaise, Nungambakkam. AC and Humor guaranteed. To book tickets, contact 98400-95253 or visit www.ticketnew.com



THANKS!! KEEP VISITING!!

14 Droplets:

Lancelot said...

me the first...


machi itharkuu pathil en nanbargal kuruvaargal..ivlo mokkaiyana letter yaaru eluthuvaanu unnaku theriyaatha???

Lancelot said...

siluvai eluthunaa letteraa naa eluthunathaa solrathu evlo periya poi,...un mel naan yen maana nashtaa eedu vazhaku podaa kudaathu??

Vinnie said...

Enna kodumai iddhe???
(guess i'll go back to farming)
~ Bill Gates

shanmuga priya said...

NERA KODUMA DAAA SAAAAAAAAAMI !!!!!
Nxt maana nashta vazhaku un mela dhaan :)

மகா said...

aiyoooo pavam ...
nan bilgatesa sonnen.

Karthik said...

LOL. :))

inga ellarum ennai loosu maathiri paarkkiraanga!! :(( innapa ippadi varikku vari sippu varthu?!

Priya Joyce said...

hahahha...tat was real funny.

an ode.to Microsoft..:P or either the opp.:P

kanagu said...

If Bill Gates reads this... sorry sorry sees this means he will go mad :)

good one... but still short of something that could have made this into a brilliant post.. the reason is.. I have already got the first few points in a SMS :(

Thoorika said...

epdi ipdi ellam..cycle gap la wolf a la izhutha pathiya.. adhu.. am so proud of you :D

Ajai said...

Old wine in new bottle... Got as a mail... :P

Ashwathy said...

LOL! I remember reading part of this elsewhere.
the last four are particularly hilarious! :-D

Anto Paul said...

LOL :-) :-) :-)

Karthik said...

@ Lance: Siluvai, on inquiry told us that since he'd kicked you for flirting with his wife MUNIMMA, Tit-for-tat you'd done it using Siluvai's name.... :) But at your foolishness, at the footer, you wrote your name itself.. :P


@Vinnie: Vinnie Gates :P


@Shanmuga Priya; You will come and support me in court??


@ Maha: Pity... I'm telling you


@Karthik: Thanks mate!! keep visiting!!


@PJ: :P

Karthik said...

@Kanagu: I got it as a mail...


@Thoorika: We are wolf family.. :P

@Ajay: I only crated that mail man!!


@Ashwathy: Thanks!! Keep dropping!!


@Ando: plz update your blog!!