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Lingo - Bingo

6.23.2009

It Happened in their Life, Blimme :P

I’d conversed with many of my blogger friends and I have got each of their special consent for writing a post on the out of the ordinary moments that had occurred in their living. Since I'm amalgamating many incidents, one from a member's life, pardon me if the post is long; So much friends I've :P. If I’d not sought your permission, please give me now. If you are not ready to give, please I’ll use for this one post alone. So now let’s move to the fascinating episodes in my Blogger friend’s life.

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Little Thoorika was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another. After the sixth one a man on the bench across from her said, "Daughter, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."


Little Thoorika replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."

The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"

Little Thoorika answered, "No, he minded his own business!"


**********


There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.

When asked to define "Great" he said,

"I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"

He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages and his name is VIJAY


**********


Swati went to an eye specialist to get her eyes tested and asked, “Doctor, will I be able to read TAMIL after wearing glasses?"


"Yes, of course", said the doctor, "why not!"


"Oh! How nice it would be”, said Swathi with joy, "My Knowledge in Tamil is null for so long. I don’t need to expect Karthik to teach me anymore”


**********


Rainbow Karthik once proposed to a woman. She said “yes only if you bring me a pair of crocodile boots.”

He set off to Africa and disappeared. Finally a search has been made, they found him hunting crocodiles and watched him killing a huge one.

He walked over the reptile, checked its legs and angrily exclaims "71st and *again* barefeet!"


Blue Cross Members pardon him!!

**********


PJ went with her binoculars to a marriage

Because she was going to see a distant relative of her...

**********


Once Vinnie was travelling on a train. She felt sleepy so she gave the guy sitting opposite her on the train 50 rupees to wake her up when the station arrived. This guy was a barber, and he felt that for 50rupees, Vinnie deserved more service. So, when she fell asleep, the barber quietly trimmed her brows and cut her hair short, which she was denied in most of the beauty parlors. When the station arrived, Vinnie was woken up, and she went home. Reaching home, she went to wash her face, and suddenly screamed when she saw the mirror. Said her mom “What’s the matter?" Replied she "The cheat on the train has taken my 50 rupees and woken up someone else"


Poor Vinnie and her memory!!

**********


G3, Saranya and Wolfie are called upon to test a lie detector.

G3 says: "I think I can work for 15 hours in office"

BUZZZZZZ goes the lie detector. "Ok", she says, "1 hour". And the machine is silent.

Saranya says: "I think I can eat 15 hamburgers". BUZZZZZZ goes the lie detector. "All right, 4 hamburgers". And the machine's silent.

Wolfie says: "I think...” BUZZZZZZ goes the machine.


**********


Arc, Tara, Gayathri, Ramya and Swathi Paul go on a camping trip. After a good dinner, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.


Some hours later, Swathi Paul woke up and nudges Arc. “Arc, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”

“I see millions and millions of stars, Swathi” replies Arc.

“And what do you deduce from that?”

They ponder for a minute.

“Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.” Says Arc

“Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.” Says Tara

“Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.” Says Gayathri

“Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe.” Says Ramya


Swathi Paul is silent for a moment.


“You idiots!” she says. “Someone has stolen our tent”

**********


Shanki
walks into a bar with this really great shirt on. The bartender goes, "Where'd you get the great shirt mate?" He replies, "Phantom of Avalon" Kake walks into the bar with really good pants on and the bartender goes "Where'd you get the great pants mate?" He replies, "Phantom Of Avalon” Apocalypse walks into the bar with really great shoes and sock on. The bartender goes, "Where'd you get the great shoes and socks mate?" He replies, "Phantom Of Avalon" Then a guy runs in naked and the bartender goes, "Look Who the hell are you mate?" And the naked guy says, "I'm Lancelot, Phantom of Avalon!"


**********

And the last thing, my friend Lancelot, without whom, I wouldn’t have been here writing this post, recollecting all the events of my blogger friend.

Statutory warning: 18+, Gross

Chriz, I and Lancelot were walking on a dark alley in search of our girl friend. Before the thoughts could arise in your mind, Yeah! We three loved the same girl. In the midway we were rounded by robbers at knife point.


“I give each one of you a chance. If you could answer all your questions, you’ll be robbed and shot down. At least one succeeds in making us answer wrong; we’ll leave you without a scratch added to handing over all those we have robbed today”

And he opened his bag which was brimming over with gold and cashes.

I came forward first.

“Tell me the number of girl friends I’d encountered?”

He was good in legilimency (reading one’s mind by exploring feelings and memories)

"1456, +3, while you turned into the alley."


“Right” and they took my things, a guy now holding me at knife-point.

Chriz came next.

“Tell me the number of under wears I lost?”

He gave a stinking look

"211, +1 the one you lost today morning while drying it"

“Right” and they took his belongings, another guy holding him at knife point.


Lance was our last hope. We were unsure what he’ll do now. Will he save us?? But the guy was a great Legimens.

“Could you bring me the chair that is lying there?”

They brought the chair.

“Could you put six holes in this chair?”

A guy shot six holes, three in two rows, in the chair with his gun.

“Thanks!”

Lance sat on the chair and let out a big, loud FART.

All shut their noses.

“Could you find from which one of the holes the fart escaped first?”

He threw in a deep examination, and cleared his throat and nose saying

“The second hole in first row”

“Wrong!! It was from my ASSHOLE” and we were saved.

Thank you Lance!! I’m so grateful to you!! I don’t know how to reimburse you for this, I’ll do it twice than that you’d done for me. I wasn’t referring in FART content, you wicked fellas : x


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This is my 50th post and I’m so obliged for all my blogger friends who lost their valuable time in my Blog and kept on cheering me!! I bestow this post to each and every of my followers, commentators, visitors and special mention of gratitude to Google, who had given me the space to host my blog!!









Thanks!! Keep Visiting!!

22 Droplets:

Aparnaa said...

Yippe!!! me the first this time!! LMAO!! Especially the last one.. Though am not 18 :P

Congratz for the 5o post and thanks for the cake!!!

Aparnaa said...

Between You didn't write on my incidents.. I was the one supporting you right from first post... Bad!! Very Bad!!

Thoorika said...

Congrats da!! Not bad.. you didnt asingapadthify me so much.. Thank you very much!! :D

swati said...

karthiiiiiiiikkkkkk
its swati n not swathi x-(
n yes im soo grtfl to tat Doc..atleast nw i wont have to beg u to teach me tamil..:P thenga :P
im all independent nw :)

gils said...

LOL...athukulla 50 posta..athuvum rendu blog vachu katha nadathi!!! kalakara po..ella PJvum nice..lance mela apdi ena kovam..una siluvaiayalaye adika poran paru :D

Lancelot said...

Arun: Machi congrats da

Siluvai: Sokku da mappillai, kalakikunaa po 50 adichuttu sarva satharnamaa irukka, vaa 100 ml adipom...

Lancelot: Yo man, did I only farted? I thought I shitted through my pants seeing the robbers man...congrats on your 50- in appreciation I am farting all over your blog page *FARTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT*

kanagu said...

Congrats on your 50th post Karthik :) its really a fun read :)

G3 said...

Congrats on ur 50 :)))

Paravaa illa.. over damage illa... adhu varaikkum nanni hai :D

Sayani said...

haha !!! those are some hilarious stuff :)

swati said...

come on u dont have to be sorry fr tat...i was jus kidding :)
good day!

Karthik said...

congrats dude for the 50!

now will u excuse me for sometime? i have to get a crocodile with boots.. the counting is 91 now.. LOL. :))

Karthik said...

btw, superb post karthik. still laughing. :))

Arc said...

The post was superb superbly written :) I like the way it has been conceived and you know...I guess a lot lot of effort has gone into writing this post. So a big Congratulations for you on that note.

Thoorika episode was nice..Wolfie was true:P And Lance... he he he...Gethu Galeeja eludirka:P:P

Aana apdiyae cycle gapla enna poi kalaichita paathiya?!:P


Seri, 100th post ezhudum bodhu enna pathi oru nallada solli naalu paragraph ezhudu..Sorgathula unakku nichyama oru seat parcel:P

May you continue to spread laughter:) Happy Blogging times!

Saranya said...

First of all, Congrats on hitting 50!
WOW, What a writer you are! Just loved each of them as well as the one you mentioned my name :) Irundalum, 4 hamburgers -still too much ;)

ramana said...

congrats da...,
50 posts hmm great,
expecting a lot from u..,
good job :)

ramana said...

congrats da..,
50 posts hmm great.
good job da
nalla funnya irku execting a lot from u machi.

Karthick Krishna CS said...

CONGRATS and my lance's pant wont fit me... me lean and he thoppai....

Chriz said...

hehe.. ellarukum oru alvaa and salpeitta..

congos for the 50..

enakum lancekum ippadi oru role aaa?

nice one bro

Arc said...

Karthik,

My 50th post out too:) Drop in sometime!

Vinnie said...

yenna iddhe?? why will i sit in the general dabba?? there is a ladies only dabba too na baba...maybe u should change it to bus...there ur kind barber meeting me is a possiblity :P

Lolssssss at all the stories da..
u made it up very well...keep it up! n congrats on ur 50th post but it could have been ur 100th na?? do blog more often...

LOLsss at Lance's comment!

K, u have great creative writing potential but u r wasting it ..grrrrrrrr!

Karthik said...

@All:

Thanks for dropping by!! Did you like the cake?? :)

GAYATHRI said...

congrats anna:)[enna idiot nu indirect ah sonna maari irku:/]
p.s:sorry for the verrry late comment:(