Men's Diary

December

I was in the lift, looking deep into her eyes. I moved forward and she caught me by my chest

"Do you love me?" she asked

"Yes, I love you"

We kissed

January

She was hugging me like her bedroom teddy bear. I kept on reminding, its time and I have to leave but she didn’t release her hold. "Some more time K" I loved it. Then she started lecturing, "Eat properly, and please call me daily. Speak to me for five minutes. Stop flirting with new girls in my absence. If I come to know any such, I will catch the next train and kick your butt, Love you so much" and she kissed me for the one last time.

February

She was excited on hearing my voice after a week. I let her know my safety and health condition, and made it more special by revealing she was the first to whom I had given my number. 

March

I couldn’t attend her calls, workload strangling me and she keeps on fighting every time I call her. "Dad is around, don’t call", "I am not feeling well, will get back to you later" WTF wrong with her? When I need to talk to her badly, she always gives a negative reply. Let she get a taste of her own medicine. I didn’t attend when she called me while I was at office

LOL. Great day it was. She scolded me badly for talking about my X. I love it when she scolds me "Porikki" and I can take that drama every time for it. I never knew she is so dumb because if I need to start a fight, I will touch this topic, she fights, next day we cajole back to normal self. Still she never realizes it. I love the way she love but I hate the way she expects me to love her back.

I screwed it. Her phone is switched off for the past three days. I'm really sacred. Is she alright? I sent her a mail, expecting a reply.

April

She replied today, her exams on the way and so her mom took off the mobile.

It’s been a week since she got her mobile back but she didn’t update me. I called and yelled at her but she has her answers. Got a temporary job immediately after her exams and she is not idle like before. I clapped and cut the call

Attitude! Attitude! Attitude! That’s girls are about. If we had a fight, she gets back to me in an hour or so. But it’s been five days since we last talked that ended in an ugly fight. Mistake is hers but she is not ready to call.

May
 

I buried my hatchet and called her. The same response- I'm busy. I've work. I can’t message like before. I can’t call like before. Bitch! Sorry for it! :(

God, its killing me. She is not like before. The fucking truth is she is not ready to speak her heart out. 45 calls for the last four days and 78 SMS'es. No response. Why can’t she switch off the mobile? What pleasure she has in ignoring me?

June

Hell of two months. Her birthday is around; I should make up for all my mistakes. Tickets booked. Her first birthday with me, and I want it to be memorable

And as expected, she threw her tantrums. Out of station on her birthday and she can’t make up the meeting. I cut the call not ready to hear her uninterested chants

I lost my sleep, again. That’s what I am going through for the past three months. Woke till 12 to wish her first on the birthday but she didn’t pick. At last after calling from my friend's mobile at the nth attempt in noon, she barely raised her voice. "Thanks, my family is around. Thanks again!" Why was she born, Pain in the ass?

July

I am sick and hospitalized. She said she will come and meet me. I didn’t expect it because I know she won’t. Off late, she never keeps her promises. I said don’t make fucking promises but she is happy in hurting me. 

I am getting discharged tomorrow. She didn’t even bother to call me once to enquire my status. Does she love me truly? The kisses we shared, the places we roamed clutching her arms like my wife, the images are sinking out of my vision.  I'm blind :(

We met today; she cried that I'm hurting her. Oh Oh Oh! Come on, didn’t she know the last three months were grueling? But she keeps on hitting the same bush, "You talk about all the girls and I hate it, I love you crazy and possessive on you. Son of a bitch, don’t you understand it?" Why don’t the girls get the point that a guy toy only with his loved one? I love it, I love the way you love me, madly. May be I do sound a psyche. She talked a lot, I had no words because I am sick of explaining the same “I did it because I loved it" again and again. Aren’t girls tired of speaking the same topic again and again? Love is blind, but for her Love is deaf because she didn’t understand the explanation.

She promised me that all will be fine from now on. Aal izz Well

August

I have heard of Vikramadityan and Beatle stories but now I am seeing it in my life. It goes like, whatever the king says the Beatle goes back to the tree and hangs in it. She still beats the same bush “You hate me” as if I said to her. And at last she said it, “Loving you was my biggest mistake in life” Bitch! I feel like killing her. Was it the same fucking mouth that said “You are my biggest gift in life”, “I love you like anything”, “You are my happiness”. I vowed to her. She’ll regret for saying this and she will definitely miss me. I’m not goanna get another girl though loneliness makes the loudest noise.  This is true of men as of dogs. I’m not going to call her back, text her back until she realizes her mistake.

I miss her badly, but if she has the damn ego not to come down and apologize, I am not a dog to get back to her forgetting what she said. But, it happened. Life is always full of twists and turns. She called me today and expressed regret for her action on that day. I don’t want to create a scene for it because I fear losing her again. My heart is not ready for another pain. I promised her that I won’t talk about other girls and annoy. Finally, she-is-mine.

September

How could she do it? It’s my birthday and she didn’t wish today. I can’t control my feelings, mixed with frustration, tears and anger.  When I informed, she was like “Is it? Wait, Let me check the calendar.  Oh Sorry! Really Sorry!” The tone was casual and plain. She didn’t feel for it. I cut the call, don’t want to extend the conversation. Men don’t cry and if they do, not want women to listen to it. I chose the latter. What if she mocks my tears and call I’m whining?


I called again after a week. She didn’t call or text me in the mean-time. Half the conversation, she was speaking with her friends around. I was under impression am I a caller or listener? It irritates me. Does she need me when feel left alone? Does she really love me? I asked her directly. She still wants her revenge. She still wants me to miss her like she missed me when I irate and ignore her. Even if I do, I will get back in a day or two but she is repeating it for the past four months. Women don’t forget things easily. Women don’t understand things easily too. Even my phone operator would have shouted “He did it because he loved it” because it’s the sentence I keep on telling more than once every day I talk with her. 

October

She requested not to call her back. All she need is peace and time to recover. I give it to her. May be she is ignoring with an idea, I would gradually hate her for this and leave her. She is not ready to tell it openly that things won’t work between us. Whenever I see a baby, I am reminded to the funny names we kept for our kids. I brushed aside a tear. I try to talk to you, but I don't know what to say. I am afraid you don't want me to say anything. So I don't. But inside of me there are words waiting to come out and tell you how I feel-like how I miss you. And how I love you despite my broken heart. And how I need you in my life. And especially how much I want you. But those words may forever stay in my heart-locked inside. Sometimes I wonder if there are words locked inside you too... but I'll never know.

Moral: Sometimes women start to love without a reason, without a reason they start hating. Be it love or hatred, a man cant show 1% of what woman shows. If she loves, she loves it till she dies and if she hates, she hates it till she comes out of it.

Thanks!! Keep Visiting!!