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Lingo - Bingo

11.10.2009

Born Criminals -1

You all would have heard of The Three Musketeers, The Three Roses and The Three Idiots. Now, I’m introducing you the Three Culprits- Lancelot, Chronie, Karthik. We explore into their past, give the readers a sample of their felonious minds while they are kids and take you for a roller-coast ride filled with adventure, sentiments and erg, humor.




Even while as a kid, Chronie always has the charm to attract girls. Lance on the other hand has the brain to break this charm and attract the girls to him. Little Lance never hits a girl whose status is Single. He is a love breaker and always drools at girls committed to Chronie and Karthik. A visibly upset Karthik told, “Emma and I were so close. But Lance, just like a snake slid into our relation, wore a GOOD BOY image and broke us.” From there on Little Karthik never told his crushes nor his girlfriends (though Lance kept on spying) knowing “A little introduction to Little Lance is the fitting conclusion to the relation” But there was one girl who Lance couldn’t trap. She is Wolfie. (Romantic Medley now.. The beginning of Jashn E Baharaa from Jodha Akbhar)




Wolfie made an open challenge that she would place her leg on anyone’s closed fist and the one who could lift her (like Kilakke Poghum Rayil Radhika) will be her Mr. Date. Karthik broke his fists badly and was put into ICU for days. On hearing this, Bala offered him a role for his NAAN KADAVUL.
Little Lance who kept on hitting the Gym for this task, while eavesdropping, heard the name as Gulfie and went to an Ice Cream parlor nearby getting a fistful of GULFIE ice-creams. As usual Chronie succeeded thanks to his red underwear that gives him power like SUPERMAN thus silencing the critics who thought it would not be the same like he lifted Taj Mahal few months back. To all the readers, who think I’m metaphorically saying Wolfie as Taj Mahal, may God Bless You.




A fuming Lancelot carried out all his plans to break this relation but all were thwarted by Chronie and his red underwear. Lance once tried to rob that underwear but fell cataleptic because of the underwear’s aroma. Poor Lance never knew that Chronie never washed it in his life (Sources say Chronie removes his underwear during rain afraid that it might get washed) and was hospitalized for days. It’s been days since Lance had a good sleep and the moment he closed his eyes, images of Chronie and Wolfie (Lance visualized something bigger than 70 mm so as to accommodate Wolfie into the screen space) kept on lingering in his dreams. Little Lancelot came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner. His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted.



"Mom, I want Wolfie."


“WTF? You are a kid Lance!”


“I’m matured enough to get her. I want her and you have to do something.”


“Okay! You write a letter to God telling him reasons why you want her and you think that you deserve her better than Chronie”



Little Lancelot stomped up the steps to his room and sat down to write God a letter.



LETTER 1: Dear God, I have been a very good boy this year and I want Wolfie and an underwear for my birthday. I want a red one. Your friend, Lancelot


Lancelot knew this wasn't true. He had not been a very good boy this year, so he tore up the letter and started over.



LETTER 2: Dear God, This is your friend Lancelot. I have been a little good boy this year, and I would like a red underwear and Wolfie for my birthday. Thank you, Lancelot


Lancelot knew he could not send this letter to God either, as it is not true and so he wrote another letter.



LETTER 3: Dear God, I know I haven't been a good boy this year. I am very sorry. I will be a good boy if you help me win over Wolfie. So just send me red underwear for my birthday. Thank you, Lancelot


He couldn’t control himself from laughing at the letter and so tore this too. By now, Lancelot was very upset. He went downstairs and told his mother he wanted to go to church. Lancelot's mother thought her plan had worked because Lancelot looked very sad.


"Just be home in time for dinner" his mother said.

Lancelot walked down the street to the church and up to the bench. He looked around to see if anyone was there. He picked up a statue of the Virgin Mary. He slipped it under his shirt and ran out of the church, down the street, into his house, and up to his room. He shut the door to his room and sat down with a piece of paper and a pen. Lancelot began to write his letter to God.



LETTER 4: I'VE GOT YOUR MAMA. IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND THE RED UNDERWEAR WRAPPED IN A PARCEL, CARRIED BY WOLFIE. Signed, YOU KNOW PHOO



Moral: The LOVE created more criminals than any other single act of government



THANKS! KEEP VISITING!

12 Droplets:

Aparnaa said...

LOL!! Wolfie gonna kick your butt for this post!! :D :P

kanagu said...

Lol karthik... Btw who is wolfie?
And only you can make out a story from a Sms... :)

Chriz said...

the kid joke is transformed here into a post...

glad to see the red underwear doing major rounds...

wolfie has it now... :)

lance! r u there?

Thoorika said...

Sources say Chronie removes his underwear during rain afraid that it might get washed - Hilarious!!!!

Does wolfie knows abt this?! :D

Where Is Lance?! I am sensing one super round of comments!!!

For once I am glad that my name is not mentioned anywhere !!! :D

Ramesh said...

Good post!! Keep going!! I literally fell from my chair!!

Arv said...

you guys ought to be good like me... and dude... the post should have been titled four criminals... u left wolfie out :P

Arv said...

@ Thoorika... glad that mine was left out too :P

indu said...

LOL!! Who is that innocent Wolfie??

Archana said...

Thank GOD!:P

Man Utd said...

Can't wait for the 2nd part!!!!!

Lancelot said...

Even if I retire from blog he will never stop pulling me in...but I liked the part where I stole Chriz's girl friends :P I am sure its true the other way round in real life...but saami sathyama ennaku wolfie venaam...u two can share...

selva said...

it was good da.. keep postin