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12.10.2008

F for Friend: Part-2; F for Faith

One may ask what a good friend is. Webster Dictionary defines Good as having moral excellent and well behaved. Friend is defined as one who is understanding, caring, and shows concerns for others.  When you combine both of these words together you have created a good friend. Is this what a good friend about? There are more traits to describe what a good friend is all about. To have good friends you must be a good friend. Here are some of the ways good friends treat each other:

 

  • Good friends listen to each other.
  • Good friends don't put each other down or hurt each other's feelings.
  • Good friends try to understand each other's feelings and moods.
  • Good friends help each other solve problems.
  • Good friends give each other compliments.
  • Good friends can disagree without hurting each other.
  • Good friends are dependable.
  • Good friends respect each other.
  • Good friends are trustworthy.
  • Good friends give each other room to change.
  • Good friends care about each other.

We have loads more to tell, as opinion differs for each person on their attitude. Nothing can come between the friendships of best friends. They laugh in each other's happiness, cry when one is hurt, offer help without thinking twice and thank God that they found each other. If you have been waiting to tell your friend how special he / she is, convey your feelings with true friendship poems even if you are not good at it (Plan to start a new community for BABY POETS) It does give your friend a happiness as you’ve expressed your feelings for him. A true friend is someone who does not expect too much from you and accepts you as you are. A friend is someone who is happy when you succeed, wants the best for you, and is not critical of you when you fail. Some people seek friends (ME!); some people have the ability to attract friends (PJ, VIN, Lancelot, Senorita, ST). Either way, we want to be surrounded with good friends who will be a positive influence in your life. Friendship does not require having to always be doing something for your friend, but it does require commitment; like other relationships, sustaining a friendship is work. 

Between friends,
words do not always have to intrude — a comfortable silence can equal more than a thousand words; just being there counts. But friendship is also a responsibility. When someone chooses you as a friend of all the people in the world, they have chosen you as the one they can confide in, they can trust, and they can turn to for support. If we look at what friendship entails, we will realize that the responsibility is not something to be taken lightly, for to be trusted now means that you bear the responsibility of keeping what has been confided in you safe. To betray that trust means that you will hurt your friend deeply.

How to find a best friend? Rather than answering this, we must deal how to find a best friend in yourself and how to get a best in your friend. Searching for a friend is not like searching for a bride, listing out qualities like beauty, caste, working etc etc… Everyone can be a friend but a best friend is a one who brings out the best from his friend. This will help in sustain a long relationship without any complaints. If you are the Picasso, paint him. If you are a sculptor, chisel, carve and model the friend from the rock in him.  I list out the six attributes to be a good friend.

 

 

1. Spend time together: Most friends expect this. The main reason for a friendship gets broken is when the ego comes out “You like to be with her? But not spending time with me? Then why am I a friend for you?” Talk to your mind, your friend can accompany you to films, parties and even to bathroom but he can’t be with you for round the 24 hours.  If you can’t go for walks or to classes together, or missing out a Get-together, then telephone or email your friend regularly. The conversations needn’t be long or personal; those quick “I’m thinking of you” moments can go a long way in making a strong support network. Bury your ego, to analyze things from friends’ point of view

 

2. Make friends a priority: Maybe you should go grocery shopping,  do the assignments for me, accompany me to worse films (say DRONA) or watch TV (some people feel they should do that! My friend messages me to watch Reality shows when my mom is hooked to Serials). But give those “shoulds” the brush and prioritize your friendships. There will be plenty of time for those “shoulds” when you’re dead. For now, think about the health benefits of friendship.

 

3. Be there for the good and bad: Show up for the funerals and the weddings, the surgeries and the celebrations! Be sincerely sad or genuinely happy for your friend – and include them on the good and bad in your life, too. One way to be a good friend is to be inclusive.

 

4. Don’t keep score/Count: Who called who last? Who bought lunch last? Who spent the most on gifts? Who forgot whose birthday? Who cares? Who loves most? If you have a good friend, cut a little slack. If your friendship really isn’t that great, then maybe you need to re-evaluate it. Put in the ground, WHO, bury him, then your friendship will be OH!-HO! And outlast the score-keeping cards.

 

5. Notice the little stuff: The conversations that matter the most are the quick little ones that last only a few minutes. It’s not always the deep long heart-to-hearts that bond friends together -- it's the day to day minutiae of everyday life. The entire things you’ve shared in years of school are whitewashed by the Farewell day speeches. True, isn’t it? The entire details of discussing about your Strict Boss, Crack staffs, and innocent class-mates won’t stay in your mind. But think, you or your friend mimicking like the subject under scanner, say ALL THREE BOTH OF YOU GET OUT OF THE CLASS or ALL STUDENTS STAND IN A STRAIGHT CIRCLE orTAKE 15Cm of Wire of Any Length will always stay in your mind and when you meet after years roll by, you will be reminded by these dialogs without altering a word from your friend. One way to be a good friend is to have short, sweet conversations.


6. Focus on the positive:
 “I don’t like you wearing White Shirt.” “But I love White!” “You sing worse” “But I can Dance better” “I hate Pizzas” “You are dumb to hate it” Thrusting your likings on your friend is not a good sign of friendship. We all have quirks and weaknesses; focusing on your friend’s strengths and wonderful qualities will keep your friendship alive and strong. To be a good friend, forget about the things you wish were different.

 

Some friendships last forever, some are short-lived. But good friends will help you grow stronger, and as you grow older, inevitably you will evolve. The beauty of friendship — of having a close friend, of being a close friend — is having someone that you can trust and knowing that you are trusted.

 

 

To Be Continued….. (Until my brain runs out of ideas)

 

Thanks! Keep Visiting!

 

 



 

16 Droplets:

Lancelot said...

First comment

Lancelot said...

dude good post...well formatted...and as I know the contents of the post already... I just want to tell u this... you are JEPIAR's vaarisu...

friend pathi eluthunaa nee
friendship illati vazhkaila sanee
margazhila peyum panee
inthaa kavithaya nakkal viduravanga oru panee...

un eluthu nadayae thanee
athai pugalvathu en panee(3 whirl in- athan paa moonu suzhi рог்)
tamilnattula nikuthu enga parthaalum thanee
ithanalla makkulu vanthuduchu jannee...

pengala kupiduvaanga kannee
annan pondatiya kupiduvaanga annee
sri lanka la irukuthu vanee
namma udambulla irukku menee...

- Lancelot...

Vin said...

yeah, F for Faith, great post da..especially at this time for me!
i loved these 3 words 'a comfortable silence' - sums up friendship completely, thanks for sharing these thoughts..

Keke, kerthu said...

The sequel is better than the predecessor!! R u studying a Psychological course?? Man Hw cum u've racked these feelings into ur brain?? Every word here weigh so much and straight frm heart!! :( All the 6 points are astounding!!

Aparnaa said...

Supa cool post!! I 2nd keke.. This s beter than Part-1 and the title is so apt to ur contents! U r a seeker? Lol!! The way u write and talk u've many fans and cn gt frnds easily!! ehmmm... WHo s the Psychologist by t way?? Did he/She tip u??

// A true friend is someone who does not expect too much from you and accepts you as you are//

//To have good friends you must be a good friend//

Nice lines!! I thought u wud refer Ur Guru JKR as reference with harry, Ron, Hermione... Cn xpect n next posts???

Ajai said...

"Sorry!! Subscriber cannot be reached at the moment..."

Reply frm the person whom you are mentioning here intentionally or unintentionally...Lol!!

//ALL THREE BOTH OF YOU GET OUT OF THE CLASS//

ROTFL!! You experienced this in your Physics lab rite??

//When someone chooses you as a friend of all the people in the world, they have chosen you as the one they can confide in, they can trust, and they can turn to for support//

Superb lines!!

pri kutty said...

"ITS BETTER TO B HATED FOR WAT U R..THAN TO BE LIKED FOR WAT U R NOT..."
Well,a super n cooooool post...may b i cudn say wich of ur posts is better :)!N firstly i'd like to knw whetha u underwent any psychological courses....??Man..Its toooooo cool..N how do u dump all these thoughts into ur lil brains..??uffffffff...FRIENDSHIP....A coolest part of the earth....Is very well narrated....N i do wanna knw bout ur best pals....lols..lil jealous...KEEP GOING..N u rock!!Cheers man....!

Sandhya said...

simply beautiful man!!! feelings straight from the heart.. and i wud like to bring out something here.. i too had a frnd who was very close to my heart.. we broke up before somedays(may b bcoz of my stupid attitude or his crazy behaviour:().. we too had all those puppy fights which are really memorable and sweet.. i still remember the hours we talked on phone, the fights we had, his words still ringing in my mind, and as u said he is really good in writing poems.. and he had written many poems expressing our frndship... those days are unforgettable:( and ur writing has jus reflected all those days..

No words to express!!! simply awesome!!!

Senorita said...

@ karthik...F for Faith, very true...this brings back memories of Vin and I walking back from school, there was this Bora tree (tree with small orange fruits), we used to raid that tree, one day the owners dog chased us, we altered our route after that :)...this also brings back the memories of 9th grade, we had a great time...I remember the B'day song we used to sing...I feel grossed out when I think of the song now but then we got our kicks out of it, whenever anyone celebrated their b'day, the birthday boy or girl, would stand in front of the class with the teacher like some VIP and the entire class would sing "Happy Birthday" for him/her...Now my gang would sing "Happy Paada Poo Poo"(Paad in Hindi mean Fart) instead of "Happy Birthday to you" :))...the other memories are of this Physics teacher who was from Kerala I guess, she would call Air..."Yaar" and we would be smirking in the back benches...or the linking up of the English teacher and History Teacher...the times we would sign up for "March past" practice only because we got to bunk "periods" (for some strange reason lectures were called periods back then)...you are right "you or your friend mimicking like the subject under scanner... will always stay in your mind and when you meet after years roll by, you will be reminded by these dialogs without altering a word from your friend."

gils said...

over sentiya irukay :) pheelings of indiava pozhinji pizhinju ezhuthiruka..nice writeup

Sneha said...

Great post and very well written.:)
Have a nice day!
By mistake your comment got deleted from my post.
Sorry about that.

Lancelot said...

thala //ALL THREE BOTH OF YOU GET OUT OF THE CLASS” or “ALL STUDENTS STAND IN A STRAIGHT CIRCLE” or “TAKE 15Cm of Wire of Any Length”// ithu ithethan naan refer panninen... nalla purinchukunga...mallakka paduthaa pasu maadu, mount roadla malai penjaa sudukaadu, nalla figure irukurathu paalakaadu, avanga appana kupidaatha themaadu...

Karthik said...

@Lancelot: Thala.. Plz no more poems!! Everything going good.. then y this Killer passion (KOLA VERI in tamil)

@Vin: Thnks Vin.. Happy u liked it.. keep droppin mate!!

@Keke: Thnks re!! No psychology classes.. It cme in a flow!! Nothing 2 go overboard fr it..

@Aparnaa: Going with sis' thought fr the first time? Lol!! Plz refer JK Rowling as fellow tamil bloggers mistake her fr RISING STAR JK RITHEESH!! Lol!! I wil refer at 2 a point!! Frnd's req, I wouldn't disappoint them!!

@Ajai: Dude!! Told u many times, Public, Public!! :P.. Lol!! It refers 2 every frnd not my "Intentional" friend?? ya.. At physics lab durin ma 1st yr.. Stil remembr it?? Tats waht i'd referred n ma post!! Mimicing the sub wil stay in ur mind forever!! Atlast it did create an impact.. Good response for ma post!!

Lancelot said...

thala ithu thaan iyarkaiyin neri,
athunaalla neenga solringa kollai veri,
naan solren ithu thaan tamil endru ari,
aangilathin meethu kallai eri....

Karthik said...

@Pri Kutty: Thnks fr visiting!! How do i dump?? Well thnks fr reminding i do have a brain, pray my fellow bloggers won't kick u.. No courses buddy!! Jus cme in a flow!! :) I'll tel abt my pals bt nly n nick names!! Deal??

@Sandhya: let things b fine betwwen u and that guy!! I pray for the best.. Fighting s a episodein episode.. But it shd be a mini episode not a mega serial soap!! Ok??

@Seno: Thnks seno fr sharing Ur days wit VIn.. tat was sweet and touching.. better than mine it was.. Dog raided u?? Lol!! I guess u 2 naught girls would be poked tat dog... I do bunk classes in the name of march post only I won't do it :) Go to canteen and eat nicely... Keep visiting seno.. u r such a gr8 blogger!!!

@Gils: thnks anna.. All ur training!! An inspiration na?? Keep dropping!!

@Sneha: Doesn't mind sneha... keep dropping!!!

Karthik said...

@Lancelot: again a poem ah?? Now itself eye tieing... (IPPAVE KANNA KATHUDE translation)